motivation..

motivation motivation!!!!
where are u??
exam is soooo soon yet im so unprepared for it.. =(

lets get motivate a bit with some to-do-list after the exam :

1. bring my cute cute nephew and niece out... (the first thing to do after exam)

2. hang out with friends from monday to saturday.. sunday to rest at home..

3. MEEPLES!!!

guessed lung them had lots of meeples session without me d.. muz catch up abit.. still the same game?? what's the name d? shit, i forgot the name.. too long, too long..

4. look for next holiday destination.. cheap flight ticket please..

5. shopping??

motivated enough?? noooooo... but at least got something.. ^^

tis is not a post.. jus a link for me to save..

www.mysinchew.com/node/44023

http://www.btimes.com.my/Current_News/BTIMES/articles/jmoody/Article/

http://www.themalaysianinsider.com/business/article/gentings-q2-pre-tax-almost-tripled/

just a emo post when u are back..

I really feel that im very pity..

When u r at home, the connection is slow like dead turtle.. it wont move.. I need to stare at the download file, patiently waiting the 265kb file to load and not even dare to open facebook to interrupt it.. I need to witness the time to finish download from seconds to 1 minute then 2 minutes and I click cancel on 12 minutes.. why must u do this to me? I cant even open facebook smoothly, I don know why…

When u r not at home, the desktop is lock.. I need to use as guest with slow connection as u the admin are torrent-ing.. I need to bear with the turtle speed connection as im using the desktop as guest and not happily plug out the cable and enjoy the NORMAL speed.. I don’t have my laptop to use cause I borrow both my laptop to siblings..

whenever i experience slow connection at home, i tend to get angry.. really really angry, can say that im crazily mad until will kick chair, make weird voice like lion, scream in front of your room, and ran out from the house.. the worse part is, bad emotion will make my hormone abnormal, end up pimples and acnes will pop around..

I really think that I’m very pity.. nothing is smooth for me in the world of IT…

someone selfish...

im really disappointed with someone.. he only think of himself, others is nobody to him.. everyone always been considerate for him, tolerate with him yet he always use his selfishness to hurt.. do you feel happier when you see the anger in my eyes, and the disappointed face of the two?

if you feel unhappy here, you are very welcome to leave.. no one is stopping you for being what you want to be, good or bad.. but not after you tried every chances that people given you and took all the benefit then run.. its so irresponsible.. it's heavy, yes, so?? you gain from there, you have to loss something there too... oh ya, i forgot, in your dictionary, there is nothing call loss..

someone, being so selfish and keep on hurting everyone who care for you really really really good for you.. please be more cruel to us, make us truly give up on you and let you live your own selfish life..

kena tegur..

haiz..

i think i will remember this forever.. keep in mind n same mistake wont happe thrice..

keep clean,save the environment, save the beautiful view..

grrrr.. this is just a lesson, no depression.. =(

please let me forget bout tis in 5 mins time..

燕所领悟 1

人之初，性本善， 是吗？那为什么还是有犯罪的人呢? 是什么东西改变了一个人的善性呢?

我常在想, 一个人真的会变吗？ 从风度翩翩会变成无理小人吗？

我害怕。原以为自己非常了解的一个人万一变了一个样，或者说变得不人模人样的话，怎么办？我知道不人模人样听起来很恐怖也好像不会有如此的人出现，但活生生的就有如此的一个人在我眼前。我怕，将来我遇到的人会是如此的吗？当我自以为是的觉得自己了解他并把自己的一生托付给他后，疼爱我的他，会变成恶魔的嫌弃我吗? 那到时我要怎么办? 怨自己看走眼吗? 怨天怨地吗?

现实好像一直在不停的打碎我的童话故事..

不要把爱情编得如童话般的浪漫.

告诉我, 将来的你, 会不同吗?

mou ren again..

made the same mistake again, never learn ha..

forgot the best policy to communicate with mou ren is keep your lan jiao mouth shut and keep your hand move.. the best is don have a brain to think too..

ha, suddenly i realise mou ren 2 is the smartest..

a bad week begin..

and my feeling of leaving is even stronger now.. i must leave here and own my blue blue sky...

happy week..

this is incredible, i must post this.. MUST.. because today is the end of my MOST LUCKY WEEK...

=monday=
result's day, came out out of my expectation.. 2 paper pass, wooooo.. life is full of hope now.. ^^..

=tuesday=
get my new spectacles and i love it... yen ting said it looks good, hahaha..
lost my 'yue lao gong gong' and luckily found it..

=wednesday=
my student manage to answer my question!!!! after i taught his that for 1234539 times, finally he get it!!!

=thursday=
had dessert in 'tian pin ge ge'.. love their mango chee cheong fun.. im gonna learn it.. anyone wan to be my little cute white mice?

=friday=
ok, i need a break..

=saturday=
get to meet friends..
suet yi, weil xuan, mindy and wan yong.. had a really yummy dinner..
thai link and bee thuan.. juicy midnight talk from 10pm till 4am.. tiring..

=sunday=
i get a new laptop!!! is my dream laptop somemore.. sony vaio, hahahahaha...

here's my most lucky week.. none of these day is in emo mood.. i wish it will continue and never stop.. ^^

part 2 completed!!!!

this may not be the good news but this is a happy news!!!

PART 2 COMPLETED!!!!!!

damn shit, kinda regret i din attend class for this semester, or else i will b able to graduate by june 2011 (if i hardworking enuf)..

another bad news is, not second upper class.. sooooo sad..

anyway, things aredi happen, just live with it!!!!

WOOOOOHOOOOOOO!!!!

5 MORE TO GO....

某人 (updated)

this blog slowly becoming a media for me to complain about someone, 某人。

明明是自己理亏，为何某人仍可以理直气壮的跟人大小声呢？
为何非弄得全部人在看笑话你才会善罢甘休呢？
为何非要在人生故事里为自己写下不堪的一段，画下不堪的一笔呢？

我不懂。如此的物理到底是想要为自己壮胆或是自觉有理还是无理取闹呢？
越来越不了解某人了，沟通似乎也不管用。
面对某人时，为一想做的是保持安静，这就是我们的沟通了。

与某人的距离越来越远了，而我也越来越不想慢慢地走向某人了。
放弃，灰心.....

某人，事后的补救与温柔都太迟了。裂痕已有，补不回；脱口而出的话，收不回。

(update)

原来，某人是会流泪的，为某人2 而流泪。
但我要说的是自食其果，某人是怎样的一个人，某人2也会渐渐的步入某人的后尘。

sick in the wrong timing...

arghhhh... why why why?? why when there is something interesting happen around me but i always miss it??

first day of this year i fail to meet someone for countdown.. damn disappointed..

yesterday, i miss my colleague's farewell dinner just because im stupid duper super fever, flu and swollen eye!!!!

this eye always cause me problem.. first it is single eye lid, second it will get swollen whenever i fall sick.. shit!!! remember there is one chinese new year i were carrying a mashimaro eye and meet people.. shit...

back to yesterday... initial plan is to have a tuition class then go farewell party... damn stupid shit the fever getting worst and the eye getting small... argh.... im so geram.. i miss a super big gathering with big boss and tcy is there!!!! damn geram.. also miss a chance to get drunk.. haha.. end up i don get to earn money and spend money.. sucks...

yor, why all the interesting things happen when im not around.. im so sad.. i wish i can turn back time.. i wish i got a time machine..

p/s :: jus get to noe the bill on boss pulak.. don even need to spend money... geram!!!

咳，最后还是告诉自己....

“是你的就是你的，不是你的就不是你的，抢也抢不来”

睡觉。。。

我的心扑通扑通的狂跳。

半夜了，不知为何心扑通扑通异常的快。

是因为身体里不够水分吗？

还是一种预言，告诉我此刻有不幸的正发生着？

明天又要出门一整天，爸妈哥也开始要忙了。

预言到底是给我还是他们呢？

不安啊，今晚要如何入眠呢？

我怕，我担心。。。

崩溃了..

我崩溃了...

工作, 学业, 沟通, 金钱, 蟑螂, 学生, 电脑.....

全压得我喘不过气了...

眼泪证实了我的脆弱...

快乐已失去...

微笑是面具...

security

shu qi said the feeling of secured is provided by the person himself, not from the person he wish to feel secured.. but now, me myself is unable to produce this type of feeling anymore, insecure is slowly taking over.. security is based on a person act, if a mistake had been repeated alot of time, the feeling of secure or to say trust is gone..

i slowly lost my trust on you, the reason i believe you for this round is i based on what i know you are and i wish i do know you well enough.. i wish a conversation between you and me will be able to boost up my ability to trust you again and hope you wont disappoint me.. a doubt had been temporary strike off yet i feel more doubt is turning out, it just seem to be a never ending story and it will not be 'happily ever after'..

god, i know i had been a crazy, disloyal, naughty, unfilial, stupid daughter, sister, friend and student, i still wish the worst will not happen.. yet the truth is, the more you want something not to happen, it will happen..

tis is not a post...

just to save the link of piano sheet i wanna print.. ^^

http://wenwen.soso.com/z/q179219220.htm?rq=177513046&ri=2&uid=0&ch=w.xg.llyjj

http://www.gangqinpu.com/html/10153.htm

http://www.yqxs.com/data/book/8902/

sweet then bitter..

sometimes i wonder why do i always choose to enjoy the few days and suffer for another six months..

i like sweet first then super bitter later..

ewwww~

kinda hate it now.. but always, after 5 months i will forget bout it and get panic on the 6th month.. lol..

my coming holiday..

can you please be more humble and prudence?? why can you always be so optimistic?

i know is not you to be blame if i really sit at home do nothing in this coming holiday.. things are often hard to predict, but if it is, how can you just made it seem possible, achieveable? do you ever know peoples have their own plan too? because of your words, i felt that i lost a lot of things..

i guess im the one to be blame.. im the stupid one who take your words serious and be too efficient in respond to it.. im the one who are not prudence enough by listen and accept all your words..

cheers to myself for having a ________ holiday..

fill in the blank with any words you want it to be, you want me to be..

midnite trauma..

incredible.. manage to get myself update more on blog than facebook..

its 421am now, not asleep yet and just saw a cockroach... if u know me well u will know that i got phobia of them.. i cant type the words anymore so u know what is it.. at first i thought just ignore it, stay on your bed and faster sleep.. let it loiter around then it will disappear by itself..

failed.. totally cannot tahan it walked around on the floor.. i have lots of imagination.. what if it climb up to my bed and crawl on my leg AGAIN (it just happen last month!!!).. NO WAY!!! unwillingly i called my mom and told her : "mi, got xxxx.." (this is the second time i called middle of the night just because of it)

mom answered me : "i know it, must be it.."

my mom tried to persuade me to ignore it or go my sis room zzz.. i cant.. i said :

"cannot, cannot, faster come, faster come, cannot.. "

haiz.. i really cannot.. i even be really silly by telling it : "go away go away", even i know it dont understand..

luckily mom willing to wake up, killed it and swept it out of my room.. thank god and mi.. now i can have a good night sleep.. pray pray my future husband does not has this phobia and able to protect me from it even is in the middle of the night..

my holiday

forgo my holiday work under datin... im sooooooo sad bout it..

daddy, u better make sure lots lots lots of money will goes into my pocket for this holiday, or else i will put my anger towards u and no birthday present for u for this year..

tis june holiday going to b interesting.. will be a extraordinary month.. in perak...

selangor, klang, subang, damansara.... i will miss u all very much!!!

加油， 小禄...

thanks to facebook, i have been neglect this blog for a really long time.. hehe..

oh god, im so relieved.. it suppose to be 'sad' at the first place.. why??

because of xiao lu lo..

last 2 weeks i got to know that he had entered a singing competition, im so excited as im always the fan of him and feel that he should come out with a solo album and not with the group called 'Choco 7'.. i thought that by entering this competition, more people get the chance to listen to his voice, his skills and his talent..

unfortunately, just now i youtube his progress for this week and really sad to find out the judge doesnt feel as what i feel for him.. he is in the bottom 5 and this week they are going to kick 5 people out.. oh god, im panic and heart broke.. that's y i start this post, wanna to start with the word 'sad'..

im a impatient person, so quickly i straight jump to the ending, pray pray hope that there is more people get lower marks than him and thank god my wish come true.. he is not in the bottom up, manage to survive for next week.. and that's when the word 'relieved' came..

hopefully next week he will perform well and let others open their eyes and mouth big big enough..

加油， 小禄。。。

May shopping list

lots of things wana buy!!! out of sudden..

1. a digital watch
2. long pants or jeans
3. a starbucks tumbler to save RM2 everytime i visit them
4. a comfortable single sit sofa (tis is jus a dream)
5. heels!! reli reli long din buy one, thank to crocs..
6. 下一站,幸福 dvd
7. a reli beautiful shorty white dress

temporarily oni tis.. hopefully i can strike off all of them other than the sofa by the end of june..

the way to get closer to Him : Chastity

extract THIS POST from Van Ness's blog.

March 11, 2008...I laid my head down and said to God...

"Lord...I'm ready to start my walk with you...

Father God...I've been doing things my way all my life. Even when you came and showed me Your love for me. Still....I went my own way. Did my own thing. Lord I tried to stay close to you, but couldn't. Temptations of the flesh, (the world) kept taking me farther and farther away from You. At the end of that tunnel, I realized I went after everything I wanted...and turned away from everything You wanted to give me...I got almost everything I wanted...but every time I got there, I wanted something else from the world....

Everyone in the world looked at me and thought I had everything. Some looked at me and thought I'm a complete A**hole. Some look at me and adored me. Some wanted to be me...but Lord...when I look in the mirror...I don't know who "me" is...

Am I that person I see on tv? The big screen? The music videos? Who am I? What am I? What is the point of all this!?!?

FATHER GOD!!! NO MORE~!!!! I QUIT THIS WORLD!!! I DON'T WANT IT ANYMORE! I WANT YOU!!! Your love is the only love that I have felt that is real...and all I had to do is say Lord...I want to know you more...please show me how....I want to be closer to you...please help me.....yes I said that before...yes I tried...but the devil's playground had too many rides that seemed more fun. But every ride I went on...there was a price......and the fee....my Soul.

Every ride, (sex, alcohol, money, pride, etc etc) no matter how fun that ride was while I was on it...in the end, when I get off...I ended up with either a massive headache, body pain, bloody knuckles, friends in hospitals, women crying, panic attack, depression...the list goes on and on...but the worst part of it all...half the time I don't even remember any of it. And I would try to make myself feel better by saying man did I have fun. I have the hangover to proove it. What did I do that was so fun? Hmm...I don't remember.....Yea...sounds like I had fun....

FLIP THIS! I'm done with this! I want You Lord, and YOU ONLY! I know it's not going to be easy...I know I can't do it all at once...I know everything is a process...but most importantly...timing is most important. YOUR TIMING IS MOST IMPORTANT. Teach me...teach me everyday...teach me through my prayers. As I pray to You Father to remove all my fears of what's going to happen to me, all my doubts of myself, all my worries of what people think...dismantle it and break it all off me! In Jesus Name! Teach me to Love as you do, to Serve as You do Jesus, humble me...humble me...humble me....make me whole again make me new. Make me as You so planned from the day you created the whole universe. Make me a better servant, a better student, a better soldier, a better warrior, a better vessel, but most importantly...a better LOVER for You!

FOR LOVERS WILL ALWAYS OUT WORK WORKERS.

Cover me with your blood, keep blessing me to be stronger, to fight off all the temptations of this world that is trying to make me stupid, numb my wits. Let me be a true SOLDIER OF LIGHT, Jesus your warrior, CHRIST'S BLOOD WARRIOR!!! Let me fight for You! MORE OF YOU LESS OF ME....ALL OF YOU, NONE OF ME, LORD..I am ready...I am ready today Lord...to start my walk with you. Amen."

Phew....I dunno where all that came from....hahaha...

Ok..ok......maybe I didn't say all this at once...but God knew even though it didn't come out of my mouth. My heart. My heart, was ready to take that first step with Him. I had no idea what was going to happen...how my life would be.I had never done this before. But I said...FLIP IT~! Give it a shot...I mean give it a real shot this time Van Ness....don't sell yourself short.....and that was when I made my chastity vow to God for one year.

Why chastity vow?

Well being in a boy band, living a rockstar life, females tend to be um.....everywhere......and that was one of the main thing that took me farther and farther away from God.

Well...my year is up now......and life just gets better and better...

"2008 Time to Dominate!"...and Dominate I did.

"2009 Time to Shine!"...can ya see me Blingin~

So...What's next?

a. Go find the first girl I see and then...

b. Go find the first 2 girls I see and then...

c. Continue my vow, and keep patiently walking with God and see where He leads me.

Can you guess my answer?

But I wonder...if that day comes, when I meet a girl, whom I love,and I walk hand in hand with in public.....would all my fans still support me? Or would it be as the company's, media, or reporters say?

Do I hide something that God has intended for us as human beings to have so freely?

I think I'll just be honest with myself, and let God do the rest.

The enemy of Best, is good...some things may seem good...but God only wants the BEST for US!

For the sake of Love, give everything...for no sacrifice is too great....all you need is Love.

"Don't let the world steal your feelings...Love, Faith, Live."

朋友 一生一起走

一直以来, 我相信有一生的朋友 。

从中学到现在我依然会如此得想。

我们，鲍鱼家族，会吗？

不可能了。

从一毕业，我与他的开始，增加了我与你们的距离，慢慢的我们生疏了。

七个月后，我与他的结束，并没有改变任何事，距离还是存在着。

四年里， 种种的事情发生了， 大家开始组成自己的另一个圈圈，这是我非常不乐意见到的。

他和他的不合，他和他的误会，更是把大家的距离拉远了。

去年三月，她结婚了，非常高兴的，我看见了我们大家又聚在一起了。

上台唱了首‘朋友’... 大哭，哭得不是自我，因为从前的种种浮现在脑海里。

虽然我与你们并没有太多的深刻回忆，也没经历过生死难关（最恐怖也只是在jj车里吧), 但我还是非常地珍惜与大家的友谊。

朋友一生一起走 那些日子不再有

一句话一辈子 一生情一杯酒

朋友不曾孤单过 一声朋友你会懂

还有伤还有痛 还要走还有我

"朋友一生一起走", 我们大概已经走不下去了吧。

误会越来越多, 距离越来越远, 没人愿意让步, 那些日子不再有。

"朋友不曾孤单过, 一声朋友你会懂", 悲。

如今的我感觉孤单, 因为大家都不懂大家了。

我只想找个人陪我看 "叶问", 竟然的悲到想不到一个人。

朋友啊, 你们到哪儿去啦?

真地会如此的不堪到永远吗?

the first day of 22 years..

last 2 years, i closed my old blog on this date..
last year, i had a new blog and posted my 21st birthday post..
this year, this blog still exist with seldom update.. haha..

here come my 22nd birthday post.

how do i spend my birthday?

at first i thought the 12am i should be in a bbq party, with link them.. unfortunately, leong's uncle passed away, party cancel and i had to look for a backup plan.. dont really want to stay at home because i can imagine how boring and depress that will be.. so i called howe howe, told him i'm free for them!!! let's hang out!!!

so here i am before 12am..

lung's house

i think this is the first time i celebrate my birthday with min ee, after 4 years..

dinner got crab, chicken, sotong and tofu, which is tapao from coconut flower, although already bored with those food, but still yummy.. after that we played cluedo, watched south park, and camwhore with the cake..

cake from RT Pastry, yummy!!!

(more photo visit facebook's album..)

the next day i spend my day with my family.. watched 'being human' and makan in 'xian ding wei'.. jie jie dislike xian ding wei.. haha.. 'being human' is quite funny but i had to say that jack neo really has a bad taste.. his mistress is sooo not pretty lo..

daddy dint get to come back celebrate with me cause he is busy, but he promise will come back tomorrow evening.. although i'm disappointed but at least he did make the effort to come back tomorrow.. no family photo, =(..

okay, new year new birthday wish..

1. faster finish study.. (although i always tell people i will study till i get old, but im super bored with college life.. a little bit busy and miserable is quite an excitement in life!!!)

2. wish all my friends and family happy happy.. those single faster get their partner, where is my white prince?

3. this is a secret..

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!!!

20/2/2010 Sat

sad and scare... study

holiday is over, is time to get back to the real world..
college, lecturer, exam is waiting for me.. i'm scare, i feel like crying right now..
result is out on monday, will the paper get through? i did my best last semester for it, if it fail, im sure will cry and depress..
anything i can do to change current situation? the only solution is....... i know that ] but i cant even say it out, because it will give me a feeling of big stone drop on me and a pinch at heart..


relieve and sad... friend

get to know something that made me really relieve.. the decision that i had made and regretted, now is the best decision i ever made.. but if that point of time i dint made that decision and accept it, something like may not happen and totally change current situation.. haiz, 'if' is something only loser will hope for, i better dont waste so much time on it.. im just feeling sad right now for someone who is so joyful and happy turn to be, not to say jerk but i will feel complicated and 'unhealthy' for him..


time, can u stop ticking? i dowan to go class........

emo emo post

sick make me emo.. super emo.. it makes me feel guilty to skip class.. sick shouldnt be a reason to absent..

im so scared.. usually im a self-centered person, dont really care about what people think about me or not to compare myself with others.. but lately the feeling of inferior started to hit me.. most of my friends are working adults now and yet im still a college student who get stuck in acca.. listen to them that they are really busy making me jealous, i miss my worked life also.. this is so irritating, to make it worse, i got no study mood nor study smart technique. always thinking of my poor english, i feel wanna knock my head to the wall..

this semester i obviously have low confidence in me, a coward who cannot handle stress and struggling myself to accept the truth and keep my brain shut from thinking impossible dream and start to study..

to gain back my confidence, few things i have to do..
-study smart smart n hard hard
-graduate fast fast
-look for a leng leng cai cai bf (haha)
-be more filial and patient with parents

honestly, none of it i can achieve.. =(

fever lo...

how good if there is someone to carry me from living room to bed room, hug me and sings me to sleep while im weak.. add-on one good night kiss.. haha..

argh.. fever d, when is the last time i got fever? lost track d lo.. im feeling dizzy and eyes burning right now.. and im worry that tomorrow my eyes will become mashimaro.. how??

good night.. tomorrow got 8am class, before 7am have to leave house, hopefully im able to do that..

movie season..

it's movie season for me again..

tonnes of movie is awaiting for me to watch them..

• woo hoo
• all well end well
• 72 tenants
• tooth fairy
• the spy next door

ok, maybe not that 'tonnes'..

but why is it so hard to get 4 movie ticket nowadays? wanted to watch woo hoo so woke up this early just to buy the night ticket yet its full (seriously bloody full, no matter is front, back or couple, 720, 945 or 1155).. so sien..

avatar is also full.. =.=" after so long..

anyone want to watch any of the above movie with me? call me.. ^^

空虚落寞感。

在这深夜里，空虚来袭了。

因为我说了违背自己内心的话，欺骗了自己，也欺骗了他。

目的是为了说服我自己 ：这就是我心里所想的，我所要得。

但那感觉好痛哦。

说不出心里所想的，得不到心里所渴望的。

===========================================

最近很常有种感觉，每当一件很令我开心的事情发生后，落寞感就会紧追在后的跟随我。

不舍，它就这样过去了，好希望时间会停留在那一刻。

我明白，往另一方面想，未来会有更多更多的愉快事情会发生，

但内心的落寞的确令我感到难以消化。

i have a dream

Westlife - I have a Dream

I have a dream, a song to sing
To help me cope with anything
If you see the wonder of a fairy tale
You can take the future even if you fail
I believe in angels
Something good in everything I see
I believe in angels
When I know the time is right for me
I'll cross the stream - I have a dream

I have a dream, a fantasy
To help me through reality
And my destination makes it worth the while
Pushing through the darkness still another mile
I believe in angels
Something good in everything I see
I believe in angels
When I know the time is right for me
I'll cross the stream - I have a dream


i have a dream.. i think i had talked about this dream with friends and not sure whether i blog about it before or not.. tried to look back all the previous post title and failed to figure out which title it will be under, maybe i haven wrote about it.. hehe..


my dream is be a boss, a boss to a dessert shop.. got this idea when i started to work and got the recipe for honey dew sago.. i love to cook and bake, just hate to wash.. although i love to cook but i seldom step into the kitchen, the most is only maggi or fried egg, once in a blue moon fried rice.. the dream had been out of the mind for sometime cause i cant even handle my own study now, how can i dream of a shop, moreover i dont have any recipe.. really one honey dew sago and one banana pan cake 走江湖?


last sunday my sis bf was talking about open a bakery cause his mom started to bake bread (just for fun, not serious about it), then i said we can do dessert in the bakery also ler.. here start of the dream again.. as my sis is considering to quit her job everything and also been dreaming to become boss also (different as mine, she want to do either bubble tea or pan mee), she asked my mom to buy recipe book and create her own recipe.. seem like she do has the interest to realise my dream.. haha..


i think this is my family gene to dream to be boss, cause my dad hate to work under people, my grandpa also is a boss himself.. the book family like to be boss, risk taker... hahaha.. so this is my dream, to open a bakery + dessert shop, be a boss.. but no matter what the dream is, study and graduate is my responsibility for now, STOP DREAMING..


p/s : i still dream about the shop and finding a sweet name for it.. hehe..

lately

i got nothing to post but i feel like blogging.. haha.. life seems to be quite boring lately, other than class nothing special is going on..

classes and lecturers are stressful as usual but it become double stress when i had p2 class and joyce's class for f9.. she expect student to know everything for whatever she taught, one mistake will end up with a super long loud morale study, so stressss.. i know i may choose to ignore the scolding part or to take that as a song or whatever, but i just hate people to scold, its annoying and kill my confidence and happiness.. got that serious meh?? YES!!!! is that serious for my mental condition right now, i'm mentally weak, i cry easily now..

lately im addicted to jogging or marathon.. one of the proposed way for me to de-stress myself, nothing practical has been done yet for this de-stress plan because something came up on my jogging day last week (a phone call), so not sure whether it will work or anot.. i'm looking forward for my jog on this wednesday and thursday, hopefully this will help me to get a good night sleep.. or to say i dont want oni "a" good night sleep, i want it to be FOREVER..

oh ya, im very 'heaty' also.. left ears is damn pain whenever i try to swallow, even if is my own saliva or air.. YES, throat is connected to the ear.. hopefully it will recover soon too, im mentally too weak to get sick or to take pain.. haha..

another thing that is bothering me is.... my aunty refused to visit me.. faster come la, stomach getting bigger, pimples getting popper, acne getting fatter..

oh ya, im a teacher again, YEY but my cutie student is not there anymore, he changed to other class and i will not have a chance to see him anymore and im really depress about that, i miss him.. =(



that's all for my boring week..

hopefully sooner or later something exciting will happen in my life such as :
- ktv
- bukit broga hike
- trip to kuantan and beach
- good stamina to join marathon
- good result for pt (have to study hard hard to achieve)


p/s : cut my hair short last tuesday.. not to say really nice but i love it short.. ^^

is time to calm down..

things happen, decision made, nothing else can be done in order to change the situation.. the only thing that i can do is to accept the reality and deal with it.. no matter i like it or not, the world will not follow my steps to stay at current situation.. perhaps, times continue tic talking, earth continue turning, sun continue burning, human being continue growing, nothing will stop to wait for me, is me who need to follow their footstep and run with it..

do not let the pinch break me down anymore..
do not let the truth demotivate me anymore..
do not let the future probable event haunt me anymore..

is time for me to calm down and do the right thing at the right time.. do not ever live in the wrong timing..


p/s: im so weak, i even wish to type a 'hopefully' in front of every sentence and not giving a firm statement.. such a loser.. this is such a emo blog, nothing is happy in it.. =(

stupid stupid yen..

god, im so stupid and blind..

why??

daddy wrote me a cheque to pay fees.. asked me what date to write and i told him this friday cheque (15.01.2010)..

unfortunately today admin checked fees again and i of course cannot enter the class and so had to play hide and seek with them.. end up still have to surrender myself in order to enter the class early.. stupid admin staff is so 'licik' and never give up.. GRRRRRRRRRR..

just now took out the cheque and check the date.. is today cheque.. =.=

so stupid for me to play hide and seek as i can walk in the class beautifully and cool.. arghhhh...

如果...因为...你...

如果...

如果我有钱,
如果我很美,
如果我很高,
如果我爱他，
如果他爱我,
如果当时我努力点,
如果时间可以倒流,
如果那件事没发生...

如果有的选, 我只要你健健康康, 黑黑胖胖...


因为...

我可以努力的让自己变有钱,
我可以化妆掩饰我的不完美,
我可以穿高跟鞋就算脚会痛,
我可以逃避或尝试去爱上他，
我可以努力的忘记他不爱我,
我可以自控的不被诱惑而努力点,
我可以调整自己跟随时间的脚步,
我可以接受事情的发生且面对它...


唯有你的事,

让我感到无力,
让我不知所措,
让我无时无刻掉下泪,
让我觉得你随时随地会离开我...


可是, "如果"是不可能发生, 我也不期待它了...
我只能乞求, 乞求上天听见, 保佑不在我能力范围里的他...

this is how i feel right now!!!!!

class starting soon yet i dont know which class to join yet.. so miserable..

1st post for the new year..

HAPPY NEW YEAR