neh, i don really care..

attitude....

this is my new attitude..

neh, i dont care..

yeah, i may made mistake and u choose to be angry...

i think i do talk to u softly for few times...

and still u cant open up your heart and mind,

then i'll have to say :

neh, i dont really care...

although i do very care, but i will learn to have this kind of attitude now..

neh, i dont really care..

awaiting...

awaiting for the day u are back..

end up giving a chance to break down my emotion.

i don't know what am i holding on or waiting for.
it seem to be i got nothing to hold other than stupid memory.
it seems like im waiting for nothing as u never care.

i cant hold this anymore..
it is impossible for me to smile everyday yet bleeding deep inside when im alone or day dreaming.
i cant hold myself anymore...

宝贝，你还是那个宝贝吗????

预告.....

梦境又给我预告了........
又是一段没结果的暗恋....

梦神,
可以不要一次又一次的打碎我的梦吗??
可以不要让我如此的甜蜜沉醉在睡梦中吗??
可以让我真真实实的拥抱他吗??

这心动真的是得来不易啊....
但有时我会想, 您是在解救我, 避免我调入火坑吗??
我不懂...
但如此甜蜜的梦, 我希望会实现........

this is what he post...

My version of flirting is looking at someone I find attractive multiple times and hoping they are more brave than I am...




he is flirting on someone......... 

just a passer by.. come and go~~

i don't hate u.. because i know the existence of hate is because there is love..
i don't want to have that kind of feeling towards u anymore..
i may not deserve someone like you or better than u,
but at least i think i deserve someone that is serious with me.
'letting go something that i'm not holding ain't difficult' is what i keep telling myself.
i just need some times, social life, keep myself busy and non stop distraction.
yesterday i watched back the video, and i miss your arm..
it's sad that everything is just a memory now..

宝贝.... this is the last time i use this words....... for u...

i really hate mind game..
i dont like courting game..
lets make thing easy...
just bloody hell tell me how u feel towards me, and u may get me..
even if is not, we can still be friend.. awkward?? definitely no..
is just that easy..

love and hate.

who are u??
what are u to make me love and hate u at the same time??
why after u did those thing on me and just left like this??
how u manage to open the lock in my heart and left me miserable?
its not that i never try one sided love before, but why this time i felt more suffer than before?
why i miss u more than others?
why even when i'm smiling and laughing yet deep inside me is crying??
why i will just stare at things and just day dream about u?
why i feel something is missing when i see the bar?


宝贝, is what u used to call me..
我怕我会爱上你, is what u said to me..
我永远记得, is what u told me..
那, 我是你的什么, is what u ask me..

宝贝, 你怕你会爱上我, 但我已不知觉得动了情..
宝贝, 我希望永远与你度过你记得的那一天..
宝贝, 我要你是我的宝贝...........

但宝贝永远都不会知道惟有他是我的宝贝..... 宝贝, 这名词, 就只属于你...


i hate u.. for silently enter my world and grandly leave your shadow behind..
i hate u.. for leaving the doubt and coldness to me..
i hate u.. for being the key to open it, and left without locking it..


i hate myself for discovered it too late. .
i hate myself for not spending enough time with u..
i hate myself for loving and missing u...


again, i need to bury the love and search for a new one..
why, i always fall for the impossible one??

its 4am!!!!

oh god... almost 4am now and im still awake, blogging.. 

i think i had reach the maximum limit of exhaustion till cant sleep now.. do u ever has this kind of experience? 

i wonder why am i pushing myself so hard everyday.. what am i proving? who am i showing? 

more than 3 weeks i had not really sit down, relax my mind with a cup of hot chocolate..  exclude cherating.. haha.. 

i miss the day that i can sit in starbucks and read my novel with the hot chocolate.. 

awaiting the day to come.. 

where r u???

i want to be pamper by u,,

i want to be nag by you..

i want to be care by u..

i want to be scold by u..

i want to be held in your arms..

i will really love u if there is a U....

with a tight hold and hug that i will never let go..

where are u???

my vanness....

lol..

部落客的用途。。。

在这里写的种种，是在提醒我自己什么该做，什么不该做；什么我想怀念，什么我想遗忘....

每一天我重复看了那post，不停的告诉自己放弃与遗忘， 但事与愿违啊~~~

感觉这玩意儿真的很绝妙，为何来得快，去得慢呢?

想念你的我在那彷徨无助的待着， 哪儿都去不了了........

我想亲爱的，你过得怎么样？？

不可投入的这段的感情

这是段不可投入的感情，一旦投入了，就注定了我会是永远的输家， 永远得忍受与另个人分享.......

我可以大方与大家分享你的一切，唯独那最宝贵的内心必需唯我独尊... 我不专制， 但我要求一心一意... 我知道， 我要求了个不可能的任务 ...


所以，我退缩， 因为这爱情游戏，我玩不起，也输不起....

我惟有远远的望着你，或许目前会渴望着你，但我会压抑，压抑着对你的好奇心，压抑着对你崇拜与爱慕，静静的在一旁等感觉的消失，再去寻找属于我的幸福...

不过， 我想我想你............

drink drank drunk.

there must be something wrong with me? i feel like want to drink alcohol every single day.. why? is it i refuse to be so conscious in life? is it a way for me to escape from reality? i don't know.. i only know i got deadline to cross, i got financial burden to hold.. lol.

i want~~~

i want to cut my hair short.

i want to sleep for more than 12 hours..

i want to drink drank drunk..

i want to go holiday..

i want to quit my job..

i want to get a tattoo..

no matter how hard i want those thing, the very first thing on the 'i want' list is:

i want my butt to stop the stupid pain!!!

ass hole, why are u so pain????

anyway, this is the kind of tattoo that i want. my love, treble.. =)

'Happy' Chinese New Year

阿公,

新年快乐... 没有您的新年, 似乎也失去了传统....
我们..... 没回去跟阿嫲吃团年饭...
您不在的第一年, 已经如此了, 接下去我真的不知道该怎么办...

阿公,

我很想念您.. 从此以后就没得向您贺声恭喜发财, 身体健康, 没得从您手中得到祝福...

New Year Tradition

i think this had become the new year tradition of my life.. this is the third time if not mistaken.. i dont like it but i need to get use to it..

===========================================

unable to let go the devil in you will only make you blind folded and bury the love. the devil has slowly make you lose your pride and love one.. it's pity..

u chose to walk towards devil, refuse to trust your love one, fall into the trap set by devil, losing your love one.. be blinded by your ears and slowly losing your heart, worth it?

if...... if that is so important to you, i can only say.... let it be~~~

anyhow i'm closing my eyes, ears, and heart.. i'm trying to live a no regret life, as for u, i don't know but i pray for u to have the same as mine..

============================================

阿公,

一个月了, 今天就是一个月了. 新的一年又来了, 与以往一样过了个XX的新年..
阿公, 您呢? 有遇见怡保阿姨吗?

依然是念着你, 好像要把你藏起来是件不容易的事..
带着您留下的手表, 看着那时间, 尽量把握时间, 为你而过, 为你而活....

您呢? 是否听见我的祈祷呢?


燕笔