fall for the wrong one..

a fren said its very difficult for me to fall for a guy..

unfortunately, now i fall for the wrong guy.. everyone telling me that he is just trying to be friendly, yes i know and also accepting the truth.. i keep distance with him, im distracting myself from thinking of him, im persuading myself that whatever the god's hint, just follow..

i said its hurt and you may feel its ridiculous cause there's nothing between us, as clear as diamond water, how can it be hurt and how hurt can it be? my answer is super duper hurt..i can feel someone pinching my heart every now and then and i cry no tears.. i knew i need to end this.. wait, there is even no beginning, what to end? but my side already had its own grand opening, picturing that bringing him to meet my families, celebrating events with him, hold his hand, fall into his huggies, everything.. yes yes yes, its really silly to dream about it but dont ever forget i used to live in my own fairy tale.. here comes the punishment for dreaming..

i said its more painful that my previous relationship because there is a relationship to recall but as for this one is purely my one sided hand trying hard to clap.. there is nothing to hope, nothing to recall, nothing to end..

i hate it!!!! and i miss him..

犯贱的自己...

原以为把心里秘密分享会的到解放,

哪知道现在反而越讲越气,

越想越没道理...

但也因为如此反而更想念你.... =(

快乐是选择...

强颜欢笑很难.. 情绪的起伏都因他的回应而波动，实在是令我忐忑不定。

最近常问自己 ：快乐是选择， 那要如何选择快乐呢？

A 男是有感觉的， B 男是朋友...

A 对我没感觉，B 紧追我不放...

A 的一个小动作令我好奇开心，B 的关怀备至令我感到困扰...

同样的，A 的不理不睬令我伤心欲绝，B 的任何过错令我无动于衷...

A 的任何大小事令我情绪不稳，B 的大好大坏小对小错都与我无关...

是该选择一个对自己没影响的人或令自己活得像疯子的人?

是要上天堂的快乐, 下地狱的悲伤或要个straight line graph 的生活?

到底快乐的选择是什么?

理智告诉自己别过于执着, 但小小心灵的一个角落告诉自己真的很想他..

如此的反复不定, 我累了.... 但还是很想念他...

motivation..

motivation motivation!!!!
where are u??
exam is soooo soon yet im so unprepared for it.. =(

lets get motivate a bit with some to-do-list after the exam :

1. bring my cute cute nephew and niece out... (the first thing to do after exam)

2. hang out with friends from monday to saturday.. sunday to rest at home..

3. MEEPLES!!!

guessed lung them had lots of meeples session without me d.. muz catch up abit.. still the same game?? what's the name d? shit, i forgot the name.. too long, too long..

4. look for next holiday destination.. cheap flight ticket please..

5. shopping??

motivated enough?? noooooo... but at least got something.. ^^

tis is not a post.. jus a link for me to save..

www.mysinchew.com/node/44023

http://www.btimes.com.my/Current_News/BTIMES/articles/jmoody/Article/

http://www.themalaysianinsider.com/business/article/gentings-q2-pre-tax-almost-tripled/

just a emo post when u are back..

I really feel that im very pity..

When u r at home, the connection is slow like dead turtle.. it wont move.. I need to stare at the download file, patiently waiting the 265kb file to load and not even dare to open facebook to interrupt it.. I need to witness the time to finish download from seconds to 1 minute then 2 minutes and I click cancel on 12 minutes.. why must u do this to me? I cant even open facebook smoothly, I don know why…

When u r not at home, the desktop is lock.. I need to use as guest with slow connection as u the admin are torrent-ing.. I need to bear with the turtle speed connection as im using the desktop as guest and not happily plug out the cable and enjoy the NORMAL speed.. I don’t have my laptop to use cause I borrow both my laptop to siblings..

whenever i experience slow connection at home, i tend to get angry.. really really angry, can say that im crazily mad until will kick chair, make weird voice like lion, scream in front of your room, and ran out from the house.. the worse part is, bad emotion will make my hormone abnormal, end up pimples and acnes will pop around..

I really think that I’m very pity.. nothing is smooth for me in the world of IT…

someone selfish...

im really disappointed with someone.. he only think of himself, others is nobody to him.. everyone always been considerate for him, tolerate with him yet he always use his selfishness to hurt.. do you feel happier when you see the anger in my eyes, and the disappointed face of the two?

if you feel unhappy here, you are very welcome to leave.. no one is stopping you for being what you want to be, good or bad.. but not after you tried every chances that people given you and took all the benefit then run.. its so irresponsible.. it's heavy, yes, so?? you gain from there, you have to loss something there too... oh ya, i forgot, in your dictionary, there is nothing call loss..

someone, being so selfish and keep on hurting everyone who care for you really really really good for you.. please be more cruel to us, make us truly give up on you and let you live your own selfish life..