be the hurt one or be the hurt people one?

doesn't want to be the one been hurt, not necessarily is to be the one who hurt people.. it can work differently by purely loving yourself.. both are selfish but one can be more ethical than others.

why am i saying this because i have a friend who had been hurt badly for few times in relationships.. the lessons that she had learned from all this relationship is "i don't want to be hurt anymore, so let me be the one who hurt people, then people will not have the chance to hurt me.."

for me this is kind of cruel.. i really tak boleh balance from this statement.. how can you choose to hurt people just because you don't want to be hurt? its also really unfair to others who care for you.. do you really feel good by hurting them? making people experience the same pain as you will make you feel good?

i don't understand ah.....