unfortunately, now i fall for the wrong guy.. everyone telling me that he is just trying to be friendly, yes i know and also accepting the truth.. i keep distance with him, im distracting myself from thinking of him, im persuading myself that whatever the god's hint, just follow..
i said its hurt and you may feel its ridiculous cause there's nothing between us, as clear as diamond water, how can it be hurt and how hurt can it be? my answer is super duper hurt..i can feel someone pinching my heart every now and then and i cry no tears.. i knew i need to end this.. wait, there is even no beginning, what to end? but my side already had its own grand opening, picturing that bringing him to meet my families, celebrating events with him, hold his hand, fall into his huggies, everything.. yes yes yes, its really silly to dream about it but dont ever forget i used to live in my own fairy tale.. here comes the punishment for dreaming..
i said its more painful that my previous relationship because there is a relationship to recall but as for this one is purely my one sided hand trying hard to clap.. there is nothing to hope, nothing to recall, nothing to end..
i hate it!!!! and i miss him..
