20/2/2010 Sat

sad and scare... study

holiday is over, is time to get back to the real world..
college, lecturer, exam is waiting for me.. i'm scare, i feel like crying right now..
result is out on monday, will the paper get through? i did my best last semester for it, if it fail, im sure will cry and depress..
anything i can do to change current situation? the only solution is....... i know that ] but i cant even say it out, because it will give me a feeling of big stone drop on me and a pinch at heart..


relieve and sad... friend

get to know something that made me really relieve.. the decision that i had made and regretted, now is the best decision i ever made.. but if that point of time i dint made that decision and accept it, something like may not happen and totally change current situation.. haiz, 'if' is something only loser will hope for, i better dont waste so much time on it.. im just feeling sad right now for someone who is so joyful and happy turn to be, not to say jerk but i will feel complicated and 'unhealthy' for him..


time, can u stop ticking? i dowan to go class........

emo emo post

sick make me emo.. super emo.. it makes me feel guilty to skip class.. sick shouldnt be a reason to absent..

im so scared.. usually im a self-centered person, dont really care about what people think about me or not to compare myself with others.. but lately the feeling of inferior started to hit me.. most of my friends are working adults now and yet im still a college student who get stuck in acca.. listen to them that they are really busy making me jealous, i miss my worked life also.. this is so irritating, to make it worse, i got no study mood nor study smart technique. always thinking of my poor english, i feel wanna knock my head to the wall..

this semester i obviously have low confidence in me, a coward who cannot handle stress and struggling myself to accept the truth and keep my brain shut from thinking impossible dream and start to study..

to gain back my confidence, few things i have to do..
-study smart smart n hard hard
-graduate fast fast
-look for a leng leng cai cai bf (haha)
-be more filial and patient with parents

honestly, none of it i can achieve.. =(

fever lo...

how good if there is someone to carry me from living room to bed room, hug me and sings me to sleep while im weak.. add-on one good night kiss.. haha..

argh.. fever d, when is the last time i got fever? lost track d lo.. im feeling dizzy and eyes burning right now.. and im worry that tomorrow my eyes will become mashimaro.. how??

good night.. tomorrow got 8am class, before 7am have to leave house, hopefully im able to do that..