我的心扑通扑通的狂跳。

半夜了，不知为何心扑通扑通异常的快。

是因为身体里不够水分吗？

还是一种预言，告诉我此刻有不幸的正发生着？

明天又要出门一整天，爸妈哥也开始要忙了。

预言到底是给我还是他们呢？

不安啊，今晚要如何入眠呢？

我怕，我担心。。。

崩溃了..

我崩溃了...

工作, 学业, 沟通, 金钱, 蟑螂, 学生, 电脑.....

全压得我喘不过气了...

眼泪证实了我的脆弱...

快乐已失去...

微笑是面具...

security

shu qi said the feeling of secured is provided by the person himself, not from the person he wish to feel secured.. but now, me myself is unable to produce this type of feeling anymore, insecure is slowly taking over.. security is based on a person act, if a mistake had been repeated alot of time, the feeling of secure or to say trust is gone..

i slowly lost my trust on you, the reason i believe you for this round is i based on what i know you are and i wish i do know you well enough.. i wish a conversation between you and me will be able to boost up my ability to trust you again and hope you wont disappoint me.. a doubt had been temporary strike off yet i feel more doubt is turning out, it just seem to be a never ending story and it will not be 'happily ever after'..

god, i know i had been a crazy, disloyal, naughty, unfilial, stupid daughter, sister, friend and student, i still wish the worst will not happen.. yet the truth is, the more you want something not to happen, it will happen..

tis is not a post...

just to save the link of piano sheet i wanna print.. ^^

http://wenwen.soso.com/z/q179219220.htm?rq=177513046&ri=2&uid=0&ch=w.xg.llyjj

http://www.gangqinpu.com/html/10153.htm

http://www.yqxs.com/data/book/8902/

sweet then bitter..

sometimes i wonder why do i always choose to enjoy the few days and suffer for another six months..

i like sweet first then super bitter later..

ewwww~

kinda hate it now.. but always, after 5 months i will forget bout it and get panic on the 6th month.. lol..

my coming holiday..

can you please be more humble and prudence?? why can you always be so optimistic?

i know is not you to be blame if i really sit at home do nothing in this coming holiday.. things are often hard to predict, but if it is, how can you just made it seem possible, achieveable? do you ever know peoples have their own plan too? because of your words, i felt that i lost a lot of things..

i guess im the one to be blame.. im the stupid one who take your words serious and be too efficient in respond to it.. im the one who are not prudence enough by listen and accept all your words..

cheers to myself for having a ________ holiday..

fill in the blank with any words you want it to be, you want me to be..

midnite trauma..

incredible.. manage to get myself update more on blog than facebook..

its 421am now, not asleep yet and just saw a cockroach... if u know me well u will know that i got phobia of them.. i cant type the words anymore so u know what is it.. at first i thought just ignore it, stay on your bed and faster sleep.. let it loiter around then it will disappear by itself..

failed.. totally cannot tahan it walked around on the floor.. i have lots of imagination.. what if it climb up to my bed and crawl on my leg AGAIN (it just happen last month!!!).. NO WAY!!! unwillingly i called my mom and told her : "mi, got xxxx.." (this is the second time i called middle of the night just because of it)

mom answered me : "i know it, must be it.."

my mom tried to persuade me to ignore it or go my sis room zzz.. i cant.. i said :

"cannot, cannot, faster come, faster come, cannot.. "

haiz.. i really cannot.. i even be really silly by telling it : "go away go away", even i know it dont understand..

luckily mom willing to wake up, killed it and swept it out of my room.. thank god and mi.. now i can have a good night sleep.. pray pray my future husband does not has this phobia and able to protect me from it even is in the middle of the night..