bad 'yen'..

mom just told me that my chinese name 'yen, 燕' is not a good 'yen'.. it will make my marriage unhappy cause the yen is something like separate is chinese.. really? all the while i know the yen is a kind of bird and really like it cause the bird produce bird nest, the super duper expensive bird nest.. now its like totally screwed out to be separate marriage? how come?

worst case is my mom said my life is really fire (direct translate, hahaha.. which is 命很火).. which is i'm quite a cruel person with no love and kind.. am i? i am environmental friendly, i love small kids, i love my family, i love man.. ok, i admit sometimes i do abit cruel but it's not really cruel for me as i know what i want and my mind is clear so i can make decision fast and no doubt.. the way to make it not so 'huo' is, buy food to the beggars.. people who knows me well enough should know that i dont like to do this kind of thing, i hate those liar who come to me and ask for money as they are not disabled or pretended to be disabled..

so what should i do with my life? i am a cruel lady that will have an unhappy marriage life..

i always dream of my marriage life.. i even think of getting marry now even i dont have a boyfriend now.. i want to be a young mama.. but now, shall i be a lonelyen or what?

mom said i have to change my 'yen'.. =.="... i love that yen, it make me feel elegant.. hahahaha..

just now i checked the dictionary and look for another yen..

雁 = wild goose
焰 = flame (more huo)
厌 = loathe
艳 = glamorous..

so either i want to be a goose, flame, loathe or glamorous??

glamorous sound fine but i hate the chinese word.. is a bit bithcy for me.. haha.. i guess it has to be goose then.. no choice..

i dont want to be goose... =(