through the eyes of Yen

'Happy' Chinese New Year

2012-01-23T00:17:00.001+08:00

阿公,

新年快乐... 没有您的新年, 似乎也失去了传统....
我们..... 没回去跟阿嫲吃团年饭...
您不在的第一年, 已经如此了, 接下去我真的不知道该怎么办...

阿公,

我很想念您.. 从此以后就没得向您贺声恭喜发财, 身体健康, 没得从您手中得到祝福...

New Year Tradition

2012-01-02T17:58:00.001+08:00

i think this had become the new year tradition of my life.. this is the third time if not mistaken.. i dont like it but i need to get use to it..

===========================================

unable to let go the devil in you will only make you blind folded and bury the love. the devil has slowly make you lose your pride and love one.. it's pity..

u chose to walk towards devil, refuse to trust your love one, fall into the trap set by devil, losing your love one.. be blinded by your ears and slowly losing your heart, worth it?

if...... if that is so important to you, i can only say.... let it be~~~

anyhow i'm closing my eyes, ears, and heart.. i'm trying to live a no regret life, as for u, i don't know but i pray for u to have the same as mine..

============================================

阿公,

一个月了, 今天就是一个月了. 新的一年又来了, 与以往一样过了个XX的新年..
阿公, 您呢? 有遇见怡保阿姨吗?

依然是念着你, 好像要把你藏起来是件不容易的事..
带着您留下的手表, 看着那时间, 尽量把握时间, 为你而过, 为你而活....

您呢? 是否听见我的祈祷呢?

燕笔

亲爱的你,

2011-12-26T23:40:00.004+08:00

亲爱的你,

怎么办, 看见如此的你, 泪水会不知不觉地滑落.

亲爱的你,

原谅我的无能为力.

亲爱的你,

我心很疼.

亲爱的你,

不要离我而去.

亲爱的你…………..

dear ah gong - day 24

2011-12-26T03:00:00.000+08:00

阿公,

不知不觉您以离去了24天, 生活里没多大的改变, 但内心深处却少了些东西, 多了些遗憾.... 阿公, 原来我没那么的气您, 原来我是如此的尊敬您, 如此的怀念您.. 过年快到了, 想起了您以准备了过年衣, 也如果这一切没发生的话, 您现在应该忙着做年饼了吧.. 写道这, 泪水已不停的滑落, 应为我已好多年没吃您做的饼, 而现在我想吃也没得吃了.... 阿公, 我真的觉得我是个不孝女, 我真的很对不起您, 很想在您面前跪下, 跟您道歉....

心里还有很多很多想对您说的话, 但我真的写不下去了, 鼻子都塞住了..

不孝孙女,
燕笔

working life..

2011-12-16T01:50:00.001+08:00

haiz.. works never done.........

dear ah gong - day 6

2011-12-07T21:24:00.001+08:00

forgotten that ah gong don't know english, so i shall write in chinese.. hehe..

亲爱的阿公，

我听到了一些故事，我心很疼.....
请您，保佑他...
抱歉，在您离开后，还是要拜托您....

亲爱的阿公，
幸福离我有多远？

dear ah gong - day 5

2011-12-06T20:01:00.001+08:00

dear ah gong,

how are u doing up there? it had been five days since u move to the new place.. are u looking at us from up there? do u like the house and the old mercedes that u used to drive years ago? is the new boy and girl treating u good? or u already pass the bridge and drank the soup and forget bout us?

after four days of your big day, finally today everyone get to have a rest... home is so quiet today.. no one talk, the only voice we can hear is from the electronic media.. i think u should know the reason of it..

ah gong,

im sorry.....

this is what i feel now..

2011-12-05T00:10:00.001+08:00

MEAN PEOPLE SUCKS!!!!!!!!!!

SARCASTIC PEOPLE F**K!!!!

damn shit.. still not enough to express myself..

currently in deep shit depression and worries..

dear ah gong,

everyone wishing you rest in peace but

the selfishly me hope that u are still around to worry bout us..

i truly, deeply, madly missing you right now..

although you are not around, your spirit will still be around..

although im not close to you, you will still live in my heart..

please be okay..

2011-12-01T10:48:00.001+08:00

i thought u are tough..
i thought u will be okay..
i pray for u to be okay..
i hope u can be okay..
i want u to be okay..
please be okay..
after all u been through, don't suffered for nothing..
please be okay..
i know u are tough and strong..
please don't leave like this..
please...........

What are you worrying about?

2011-11-13T03:52:00.001+08:00

a really nice song to share... from sodagreen..

【詞曲/吳青峰　導演/陳奕仁　VFX/仙草影像】

沒有不會謝的花
there's no flower that never dies‭ ‬
沒有不會退的浪
there's no‭ ‬tide that's always high
沒有不會暗的光
there's no light that always shines
你在煩惱什麼嗎
what's the trouble‭ ‬on‭ ‬your mind

沒有不會淡的疤
there's no scar that never fades
沒有不會好的傷
there's no wound‭ ‬that always stays
沒有不會停下來的絕望
there's no desperation‭ ‬that‭ ‬won't go away
你在憂鬱什麼啊
so why‭ ‬the sadness on your face

時間從來不回答
Time‭ ‬goes by without a trace‭ ‬
生命從來不喧嘩
Life‭ ‬goes on without fanfare
就算只有片刻‭ ‬我也不害怕
Don't be afraid of any moment‭ ‬that you‭ ‬have
是片刻組成永恆哪
Life goes on and on and on

片刻組成永恆哪
On and on and on and on

怎么办.....

2011-11-10T14:44:00.001+08:00

怎么办，当一个人走到绝路的时候该怎么办？

上天会仁慈点让人有呼吸的空间，或是现实会残酷点雪上加霜?

我觉得是后者...

现实不停的向我施压，搞得我觉得活着是充满无奈，无助与累...

如果努力与坚持的结果是如此的不堪，那当初为何，为何天真的认为一切会过去的，船到桥头自然直呢？

实事并不如此啊，船已经撞上了桥，人人遍体鳞伤....

前面不知还有多少的暴风雨在等着，怎么办？

Getting ready for Phuket!!!

2011-10-16T18:17:00.000+08:00

Finally is this week!!!! Flight on Friday and i'm packing it now, five days in advance.. Not i tak sabar-sabar for the trip, is weekday i will be in BU, so better pack now then i bring it over.. but Tuesday i will still come back home just in case i got anything left out.. hahaha..

After so many beach trip, i shall have lots of experience to pack for beach holiday. But this time i really don't know what to bring d.. All the clothes seem to be repetitive.. Yor, apasal i got so little clothes.. Need to back up on my shopping d la.. haiz..

Two hours later....

it's done.. =)

Say hi to my holiday BFF, nike small bag and orange bag.. the best mate ever..

Cant wait for Friday...

OMG, i really love this.

2011-10-03T22:46:00.001+08:00

I really love this picture.. it made my day everytime i see it, chase away all the blue blue thing..

the boy is li vee, 2 years old. cute little boy.. easily cheated with food.. i ask him call 'biao yi', he call 'biao yi'.. ask him said 'biao yi hen mei', he will said 'biao yi hen mei' with the food on my hand..

girl girl is jia xuan.. a super intelligent and fast learner.. 4 years old.. her little bro is coming soon.. when the parents is looking for a name for the little bro, she gives idea.. her surname is 'xu', she name her little bro 'xu ge yuan' (make a wish)... so cute..

Happy 80th Birthday Granpa

family pic with grandchildren and great grandchildren.

wish everyone has the greatest in their life and appreciate whatever they have too..

also to promote my handsome cousin.

still single and available. treat me a cha-time, i'll give u his number.. c(:

就是想念着...

2011-09-30T01:16:00.003+08:00

心里有个人, 脑子里就充满了思念...

不懂..... 不懂为何数月不见仍然依恋你...

是我低估了你的魅力, 还是高估了我自己...

尘封已久的感觉, 一旦被挖掘就再也收不回了吗?

现实生活见不到你就以为可以慢慢的让感觉逝去..

偏偏梦不作美, 就要参一脚来搅局, 让我不短的掉入谷底..

这样的我, 何时才能无忧无虑, 自由自在呢????

期待...........

Thai thai..

2011-08-27T21:26:00.003+08:00

going to thailand later.. im not excited about it as it defeat the initial purpose of me wanting to go and to make thing worse, i need to stuck in the back seat of a car with 3 other person from klang to thailand.. its been a year since my last car trip to johor..

ok, i know, don complain so much.. i will try my best to enjoy this holiday even it will spend lots of money and go for massages... lots of lots of massages..

happy independence day malaysia and selamat hari raya 2011..

last year, august 13th, i post this on facebook..

2011-08-13T12:20:00.001+08:00

病好了，不能再撒娇说头疼，没力了。
记得有句话，人生有几天？3 天：昨天，今天和明天。
一直的逃避也不是办法，因为今天会是过去，明天总会到来。
一再的明天又明天，只会原地踏步。
有时候在想，原地踏步不好吗？没有不好，但就会跟不上脚步而远远的被抛在后头，因为世界不断地在进步，也有可能会从原地踏步变成退步。

开始要为未来打算，为未来拼搏了。真讨厌....

am i improving? i don't know.. i only know i'm pk-ing...

tonight, i missing u, again.....

2011-08-13T01:19:00.004+08:00

又想起了你.....

想起了我们相处的时刻，想起了我自以为是的感觉，想起了我的自作多情.....

今晚，就让光良品冠的歌声来平复我的心....

----------

胡思乱想

胡思乱想又过了一夜　思念的疑问并没有解决
我又胡乱想过了一夜　情感的东西　是否需要感觉

也许我不知道　我是真不明了　人对情感的渴求　是否那么重要

也许我不知道　你那儿最好　让我情牵忘也忘不了
也许我不知道　你真的那么好　我的思念你又明了多少
我胡思乱想

------------

你真得那么的好吗？你对我的思念又明了多少？

你是否知道有个女孩默默的傻傻的思念着你吗？

silent..

2011-08-06T19:44:00.004+08:00

i remain silent not because i dont care

i remain silent not because i dont know

i remain silent not because i dont have feeling

i remain silent not because i'm idiot

i remain silent not because i'm caring

i remain silent not because i'm understanding

i remain silent not because i'm deaf and blind

i remain silent not because i'm always all by myself

i remain silent not because i'm okay with it

i remain silent not because i get used to it

i remain silent because i try to be caring

i remain silent because i try to be understanding

i remain silent because i try to be idiot

i remain silent because i try to be deaf and blind

i remain silent because i try to get use to it

i remain silent because i need to be 'all by myself''.......

please handle me with care because im really fragile..

but seems to be no one notice it..

我最亲爱的, 你过得怎么样?

2011-08-03T00:56:00.003+08:00

在这夜深人静的夜里竟然想起了你....

我最亲爱的, 你过得怎么样? 我很想知道你的近况, 但我怕... 对于你, 内心里全是恐惧, 你该是我的天堂,我的肩膀, 但如今全都变质了... all by myself 已变我的名言了.... 从前的依赖到现在的独立, 我从新鲜到厌倦到想念; 新鲜于我终于可以独立了, 厌倦于现实的压力, 想念于依赖你的安全感....

阿妹的那首歌已变了我对你的主题曲, 每每听到都想哭....... 看到周围的不幸, 都令我感到害怕, 我已变成了个很情绪化的人, 都是因为你........

当某人告诉我你的近况, 我都叫他停, 我不想懂, 不想知道.....

虽然我想你, 但我害怕你, 更有点的生气你, 再有点的同情你.. 这复杂的情绪, 你懂吗?

this is how i miss u..

2011-07-17T03:28:00.004+08:00

Vincent (Starry Starry Night) Lyrics

Starry starry night, paint your palette blue and grey
Look out on a summer's day with eyes that know the darkness in my soul
Shadows on the hills, sketch the trees and the daffodils
Catch the breeze and the winter chills, in colors on the snowy linen land

Now I understand what you tried to say to me
How you suffered for you sanity How you tried to set them free
They would not listen they did not know how, perhaps they'll listen now

Starry starry night, flaming flowers that brightly blaze
Swirling clouds in violet haze reflect in Vincent's eyes of china blue
Colors changing hue, morning fields of amber grain
Weathered faces lined in pain are soothed beneath the artist's loving hand

Chorus:
For they could not love you, but still your love was true
And when no hope was left in sight, on that starry starry night
You took your life as lovers often do,
But I could have told you, Vincent,
This world was never meant for one as beautiful as you

Starry, starry night, portraits hung in empty halls
Frameless heads on nameless walls with eyes that watch the world and can't forget.
Like the stranger that you've met, the ragged man in ragged clothes
The silver thorn of bloody rose, lie crushed and broken on the virgin snow

Now I think I know what you tried to say to me
How you suffered for you sanity How you tried to set them free
They would not listen they're not listening still
Perhaps they never will.

first interview

2011-07-13T16:12:00.002+08:00

i made a stupid mistake during the interview..

the boss asked me : what's your plan when your result is out?

answered : to be honest, i want to join the big 4..

=.=

why la i'm so honest? where is all my bluffing skill?

i'm really sad now.. i really like the working environment and the working hours...

god god, please get me the job........

please............ @.@

亲爱的, 哭过就好了...

2011-07-03T23:12:00.003+08:00

亲爱的,

尽情地哭吧.. 因为除了哭以外, 朋友们真的无可奈何..

除了陪着你过苦笑不得的日子, 没什么可做了.. 因为我懂劝导是废话..

如果我是你，此刻的我是：

"不要告诉我,他是如何的无能, 无用, 倒胃, 狼心狗肺, 无情等等,

因为到目前为止我想到的是他的爱, 他的好, 他的美,

而我也只感受到我对他的爱, 想念及不舍和不能和他天长地久的痛..."

"失去了他，不可惜… 祝福他，找到了他的最爱，因为我相信，他也想牵着我的手走一生，但感情是勉强不来，他既然做了伤害我的选择，那我希望他没错，别让我的泪白流，别让我的痛白过.. 开心幸福的过日子，是我报答你这些日子来对我的爱与照顾.. 来生如果有机会遇见了你，请求你，确定了你的感情再来招惹我.."

天不作美，伟大的’他’希望我尝试更多，得到更好… 那我也只能默默地等待那天的到来 …

作为朋友，我唯一能做的是，分享我的经历，陪着你，听你说，和你一起哭…

朋友是会不离不弃的陪伴你，但你也要争气的找回原来坚强的你…

哭吧，尽情地哭吧… 哭了过后，擦干泪痕，倔强的告诉自己：我不哭了，明天会更好…

情绪低落....

2011-06-28T23:40:00.003+08:00

最近EQ好底哦... 但低的都是伤心的情绪，怒得不多，就算有都是对陌生人...

努力的让自己开心，但就是有块石头不停的往心里压，压得我心理不平衡...

人生无常，有时真的希望自己不要活得太老，因为残酷的现实我不欣赏，甜蜜的童话不存在..

眼泪不知不觉地流，是累了，或是泪了？

first time experience...

2011-06-24T01:51:00.004+08:00

i went for fishing and prawning yesterday night with simon, cs, ah lua and ji dan!! excited!! fun!!

start fishing on 1am, end on 3am.. caught a tiny little tarapia.. okay, im not the one who caught it, tan jie got it but i'm the one who holding to rod, slowly turned "the dont know what that call".. haha.. and i know how to cast, im so proud of myself.. lol..

the whole 2 hours, we only caught that tiny little less than 200gram fish, everyone was depressed, praying the fish to be greedy but i guess they are too full that night.. lol.. so ching sin suggest we go for prawning..

yes!!!!!!

so prawning from 325 to 525am..

i caught a prawn without my notice.. =)

cs and ah lua did something really bad yesterday night.. no details of it as it is something 'really truly really bad', so i'll just summarize it as we 'caught' 4 big prawn, as big as lobster, or maybe it is lobster.. lol..

that's it.. my first time experience in fishing and prawning.

i think i love it, much more than clubbing.. =)

牙套妹...

2011-05-27T01:08:00.005+08:00

就叫我钢牙妹吧!!!!

really very suei!!!

2011-05-24T15:05:00.004+08:00

what the hell.. in 6 days, i have been paying extra for nothing for alot of thing!!!! i think i really need to go pray pray d..

friday:

cancel bank draft, charged me 15 pound.. bought new bank draft, another 100pound plus service charge rm7..

reach home check obu, required to pay online!!!! wtf.. i need to cancel another bank draft??????

30 pound and rm7 burned!!!

saturday and sunday:

is a ordinary day not until i find out something on monday!! then only i i realize i paid extra..

the only money i paid is rm9 for parking on sat, rm3 on sun..

monday:

when to pasar pagi to buy breakfast for class from 10am-6pm in kl, then tuition class till 9pm..

brought rm5 out, happily thinking to buy a nasi lemak rm1 and some kuih-muih for another rm2.. so i brought extra money..

'nasi lemak satu'

digging money from jeans pocket.. front pocket, ilek.. back pocket, ilek.. front back left right, ilek!!! wtf, where is my money?? checked my car, nope, gone.. dropped rm5, left rm1 in wallet for nasi lemak.. =(

so, just now i mention sat is ordinary day until i found out something.. PARKING.. with a chop, they will recognise u as student and charge rm3 per entry.. so i paid rm6 extra for saturday hourly charged.. wtf!!!! the chop is freely available for u at the corner to chop it... why i didnt find that out in saturday??

so total lost on monday = rm5 + rm6 = rm11

tuesday:

the day to submit obu... =)

happily go and bind it then send through courier.. paid rm134 for it..

on the way back, read the check list again.. SHIT!! SLS words must more than 1800, mine is only 1700+ words.. omg!!! quickly grab pendrive, go to dhl to take back my obu then wanting to print the front page.. charged me rm3 per colour page, amended 2 pages, rm6.. sent it back to dhl..

later on,

happily chatting in facebook, a friend ask me bout obu..

"Oh ok. They told me that mine also thurs will reach. Hmm. How much DHL charge u? They charge me rm107.20 using student card. Without student card is rm134."

WTFFFFFFFFFFFFFFf!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i dont wan to calculate my loss d... i only know i need to go and pray now...

梦见了，梦见了，又梦见你了。。。

2011-05-08T17:12:00.003+08:00

梦中的你是如此的真实，靠近...

我，着迷了...

封藏依旧的感觉再次被挖了出来，真讨厌啊!!!

it's not a "happy" birthday..

2011-04-11T21:29:00.003+08:00

5 years ago, same day same venue, i have you to care and love for me; 5 years later, i learned to love myself more..

today, i'm suppose to spend the day with peace, nothing happen, no cake, no birthday song, no argument, no shouting, no banging door, no nothing... it's just a ordinary day.. but my life don allow me to be this boring, its always dramatic...

when things comes to money, they tends to get ugly... that's reality and that's life.. again to prove "love is more important than bread" is bullshit.. no details of story as i don't want to jot down this unhappy incident.. i just want to say, coming the end of the day, only i know it's not a "happy" birthday..

and also, my wish didn't come true.. no, part of my wish came true but the most important part is still remain as a wish..

although everyone is here for me, but there is always someone missing to fulfill me..

i hate the day call 'birthday'...........

teeth extraction..

2011-04-07T00:02:00.005+08:00

give me back my teeth!!!

i find life is different when there is a hole between teeth.. what is the different?

cannot talk fast.. it will 漏风...
food easily move around when u eat.. (from the back of teeth to front, kinda irritating)
24/7 taste blood..
unintentionally will suck the lips when i breath hardly..
cannot smile as there is a hole....
have to jaga-jaga when i brush teeth, scare it will bleed again..

what i hate the most is the eat part.. it's really disgusting as i can't lock the food in the mouth, it will go in and out from the hole or sometimes, stuck there.. =.="

can u see the hole?

it will remain till saturday then both side will b the same.. i dont know how am i gonna to survive with 2 holes by then..

3 weeks later, see me with the braces... =)

hi april 2011

2011-04-01T22:04:00.004+08:00

its my birth month which also mean is time for me to start looking for presentssss.

but this year, its gonna be easy...

i only wish for one thing..

i wish to have dinner with my family in kenny rogers...

been craving for kenny for months...

easy right? but sometimes the easiest may be the most difficult one..

anyway, as usual, may my wish come true...

i love and miss you much..

be the hurt one or be the hurt people one?

2011-03-16T02:28:00.002+08:00

doesn't want to be the one been hurt, not necessarily is to be the one who hurt people.. it can work differently by purely loving yourself.. both are selfish but one can be more ethical than others.

why am i saying this because i have a friend who had been hurt badly for few times in relationships.. the lessons that she had learned from all this relationship is "i don't want to be hurt anymore, so let me be the one who hurt people, then people will not have the chance to hurt me.."

for me this is kind of cruel.. i really tak boleh balance from this statement.. how can you choose to hurt people just because you don't want to be hurt? its also really unfair to others who care for you.. do you really feel good by hurting them? making people experience the same pain as you will make you feel good?

i don't understand ah.....

its just a dream

2011-03-10T02:41:00.004+08:00

dreams that we made while sleeping will never come true.. only wishes and hopes may have the chances to be true.. dreams work the other way round, they will never be true..

if you dreamt that you won a price in lottery, you will never get one in anytime soon..

if you dreamt of your love one confess his love to you, he will never do..

if you dreamt of the one you love is waiting for your calls, he will never be..

everything is just a dream that will not be true..

dreams are just purely a movie while sleeping..

its just purely incidents that you have been hoping for while you are awake..

its just purely you missing someone too much and end up dreaming of him..

how good if i can dig you out of my mind.. or at least let me dream of you when i do not have feeling towards you.. because all i have for now is only dreams; dreams that work oppositely in reality..

fall for the wrong one..

2011-02-23T23:57:00.003+08:00

a fren said its very difficult for me to fall for a guy..

unfortunately, now i fall for the wrong guy.. everyone telling me that he is just trying to be friendly, yes i know and also accepting the truth.. i keep distance with him, im distracting myself from thinking of him, im persuading myself that whatever the god's hint, just follow..

i said its hurt and you may feel its ridiculous cause there's nothing between us, as clear as diamond water, how can it be hurt and how hurt can it be? my answer is super duper hurt..i can feel someone pinching my heart every now and then and i cry no tears.. i knew i need to end this.. wait, there is even no beginning, what to end? but my side already had its own grand opening, picturing that bringing him to meet my families, celebrating events with him, hold his hand, fall into his huggies, everything.. yes yes yes, its really silly to dream about it but dont ever forget i used to live in my own fairy tale.. here comes the punishment for dreaming..

i said its more painful that my previous relationship because there is a relationship to recall but as for this one is purely my one sided hand trying hard to clap.. there is nothing to hope, nothing to recall, nothing to end..

i hate it!!!! and i miss him..

犯贱的自己...

2011-02-23T13:19:00.005+08:00

原以为把心里秘密分享会的到解放,

哪知道现在反而越讲越气,

越想越没道理...

但也因为如此反而更想念你.... =(

快乐是选择...

2011-02-16T00:39:00.005+08:00

强颜欢笑很难.. 情绪的起伏都因他的回应而波动，实在是令我忐忑不定。

最近常问自己：快乐是选择，那要如何选择快乐呢？

A 男是有感觉的， B 男是朋友...

A 对我没感觉，B 紧追我不放...

A 的一个小动作令我好奇开心，B 的关怀备至令我感到困扰...

同样的，A 的不理不睬令我伤心欲绝，B 的任何过错令我无动于衷...

A 的任何大小事令我情绪不稳，B 的大好大坏小对小错都与我无关...

是该选择一个对自己没影响的人或令自己活得像疯子的人?

是要上天堂的快乐, 下地狱的悲伤或要个straight line graph 的生活?

到底快乐的选择是什么?

理智告诉自己别过于执着, 但小小心灵的一个角落告诉自己真的很想他..

如此的反复不定, 我累了.... 但还是很想念他...

motivation..

2010-11-19T17:33:00.002+08:00

motivation motivation!!!!
where are u??
exam is soooo soon yet im so unprepared for it.. =(

lets get motivate a bit with some to-do-list after the exam :

1. bring my cute cute nephew and niece out... (the first thing to do after exam)

2. hang out with friends from monday to saturday.. sunday to rest at home..

3. MEEPLES!!!

guessed lung them had lots of meeples session without me d.. muz catch up abit.. still the same game?? what's the name d? shit, i forgot the name.. too long, too long..

4. look for next holiday destination.. cheap flight ticket please..

5. shopping??

motivated enough?? noooooo... but at least got something.. ^^

tis is not a post.. jus a link for me to save..

2010-10-28T22:42:00.001+08:00

www.mysinchew.com/node/44023

http://www.btimes.com.my/Current_News/BTIMES/articles/jmoody/Article/

http://www.themalaysianinsider.com/business/article/gentings-q2-pre-tax-almost-tripled/

just a emo post when u are back..

2010-10-07T00:20:00.002+08:00

I really feel that im very pity..

When u r at home, the connection is slow like dead turtle.. it wont move.. I need to stare at the download file, patiently waiting the 265kb file to load and not even dare to open facebook to interrupt it.. I need to witness the time to finish download from seconds to 1 minute then 2 minutes and I click cancel on 12 minutes.. why must u do this to me? I cant even open facebook smoothly, I don know why…

When u r not at home, the desktop is lock.. I need to use as guest with slow connection as u the admin are torrent-ing.. I need to bear with the turtle speed connection as im using the desktop as guest and not happily plug out the cable and enjoy the NORMAL speed.. I don’t have my laptop to use cause I borrow both my laptop to siblings..

whenever i experience slow connection at home, i tend to get angry.. really really angry, can say that im crazily mad until will kick chair, make weird voice like lion, scream in front of your room, and ran out from the house.. the worse part is, bad emotion will make my hormone abnormal, end up pimples and acnes will pop around..

I really think that I’m very pity.. nothing is smooth for me in the world of IT…

someone selfish...

2010-10-02T12:44:00.001+08:00

im really disappointed with someone.. he only think of himself, others is nobody to him.. everyone always been considerate for him, tolerate with him yet he always use his selfishness to hurt.. do you feel happier when you see the anger in my eyes, and the disappointed face of the two?

if you feel unhappy here, you are very welcome to leave.. no one is stopping you for being what you want to be, good or bad.. but not after you tried every chances that people given you and took all the benefit then run.. its so irresponsible.. it's heavy, yes, so?? you gain from there, you have to loss something there too... oh ya, i forgot, in your dictionary, there is nothing call loss..

someone, being so selfish and keep on hurting everyone who care for you really really really good for you.. please be more cruel to us, make us truly give up on you and let you live your own selfish life..

kena tegur..

2010-09-19T20:53:00.001+08:00

haiz..

i think i will remember this forever.. keep in mind n same mistake wont happe thrice..

keep clean,save the environment, save the beautiful view..

grrrr.. this is just a lesson, no depression.. =(

please let me forget bout tis in 5 mins time..

燕所领悟 1

2010-09-03T00:51:00.003+08:00

人之初，性本善，是吗？那为什么还是有犯罪的人呢? 是什么东西改变了一个人的善性呢?

我常在想, 一个人真的会变吗？从风度翩翩会变成无理小人吗？

我害怕。原以为自己非常了解的一个人万一变了一个样，或者说变得不人模人样的话，怎么办？我知道不人模人样听起来很恐怖也好像不会有如此的人出现，但活生生的就有如此的一个人在我眼前。我怕，将来我遇到的人会是如此的吗？当我自以为是的觉得自己了解他并把自己的一生托付给他后，疼爱我的他，会变成恶魔的嫌弃我吗? 那到时我要怎么办? 怨自己看走眼吗? 怨天怨地吗?

现实好像一直在不停的打碎我的童话故事..

不要把爱情编得如童话般的浪漫.

告诉我, 将来的你, 会不同吗?

mou ren again..

2010-08-31T01:39:00.002+08:00

made the same mistake again, never learn ha..

forgot the best policy to communicate with mou ren is keep your lan jiao mouth shut and keep your hand move.. the best is don have a brain to think too..

ha, suddenly i realise mou ren 2 is the smartest..

a bad week begin..

and my feeling of leaving is even stronger now.. i must leave here and own my blue blue sky...

happy week..

2010-08-30T01:25:00.002+08:00

this is incredible, i must post this.. MUST.. because today is the end of my MOST LUCKY WEEK...

=monday=
result's day, came out out of my expectation.. 2 paper pass, wooooo.. life is full of hope now.. ^^..

=tuesday=
get my new spectacles and i love it... yen ting said it looks good, hahaha..
lost my 'yue lao gong gong' and luckily found it..

=wednesday=
my student manage to answer my question!!!! after i taught his that for 1234539 times, finally he get it!!!

=thursday=
had dessert in 'tian pin ge ge'.. love their mango chee cheong fun.. im gonna learn it.. anyone wan to be my little cute white mice?

=friday=
ok, i need a break..

=saturday=
get to meet friends..
suet yi, weil xuan, mindy and wan yong.. had a really yummy dinner..
thai link and bee thuan.. juicy midnight talk from 10pm till 4am.. tiring..

=sunday=
i get a new laptop!!! is my dream laptop somemore.. sony vaio, hahahahaha...

here's my most lucky week.. none of these day is in emo mood.. i wish it will continue and never stop.. ^^

part 2 completed!!!!

2010-08-23T12:30:00.002+08:00

this may not be the good news but this is a happy news!!!

PART 2 COMPLETED!!!!!!

damn shit, kinda regret i din attend class for this semester, or else i will b able to graduate by june 2011 (if i hardworking enuf)..

another bad news is, not second upper class.. sooooo sad..

anyway, things aredi happen, just live with it!!!!

WOOOOOHOOOOOOO!!!!

5 MORE TO GO....

某人 (updated)

2010-08-15T01:12:00.003+08:00

this blog slowly becoming a media for me to complain about someone, 某人。

明明是自己理亏，为何某人仍可以理直气壮的跟人大小声呢？
为何非弄得全部人在看笑话你才会善罢甘休呢？
为何非要在人生故事里为自己写下不堪的一段，画下不堪的一笔呢？

我不懂。如此的物理到底是想要为自己壮胆或是自觉有理还是无理取闹呢？
越来越不了解某人了，沟通似乎也不管用。
面对某人时，为一想做的是保持安静，这就是我们的沟通了。

与某人的距离越来越远了，而我也越来越不想慢慢地走向某人了。
放弃，灰心.....

某人，事后的补救与温柔都太迟了。裂痕已有，补不回；脱口而出的话，收不回。

(update)

原来，某人是会流泪的，为某人2 而流泪。
但我要说的是自食其果，某人是怎样的一个人，某人2也会渐渐的步入某人的后尘。

sick in the wrong timing...

2010-08-12T01:59:00.004+08:00

arghhhh... why why why?? why when there is something interesting happen around me but i always miss it??

first day of this year i fail to meet someone for countdown.. damn disappointed..

yesterday, i miss my colleague's farewell dinner just because im stupid duper super fever, flu and swollen eye!!!!

this eye always cause me problem.. first it is single eye lid, second it will get swollen whenever i fall sick.. shit!!! remember there is one chinese new year i were carrying a mashimaro eye and meet people.. shit...

back to yesterday... initial plan is to have a tuition class then go farewell party... damn stupid shit the fever getting worst and the eye getting small... argh.... im so geram.. i miss a super big gathering with big boss and tcy is there!!!! damn geram.. also miss a chance to get drunk.. haha.. end up i don get to earn money and spend money.. sucks...

yor, why all the interesting things happen when im not around.. im so sad.. i wish i can turn back time.. i wish i got a time machine..

p/s :: jus get to noe the bill on boss pulak.. don even need to spend money... geram!!!

咳，最后还是告诉自己....

“是你的就是你的，不是你的就不是你的，抢也抢不来”

睡觉。。。

我的心扑通扑通的狂跳。

2010-08-06T03:37:00.002+08:00

半夜了，不知为何心扑通扑通异常的快。

是因为身体里不够水分吗？

还是一种预言，告诉我此刻有不幸的正发生着？

明天又要出门一整天，爸妈哥也开始要忙了。

预言到底是给我还是他们呢？

不安啊，今晚要如何入眠呢？

我怕，我担心。。。

崩溃了..

2010-07-03T01:24:00.003+08:00

我崩溃了...

工作, 学业, 沟通, 金钱, 蟑螂, 学生, 电脑.....

全压得我喘不过气了...

眼泪证实了我的脆弱...

快乐已失去...

微笑是面具...

security

2010-06-22T00:36:00.004+08:00

shu qi said the feeling of secured is provided by the person himself, not from the person he wish to feel secured.. but now, me myself is unable to produce this type of feeling anymore, insecure is slowly taking over.. security is based on a person act, if a mistake had been repeated alot of time, the feeling of secure or to say trust is gone..

i slowly lost my trust on you, the reason i believe you for this round is i based on what i know you are and i wish i do know you well enough.. i wish a conversation between you and me will be able to boost up my ability to trust you again and hope you wont disappoint me.. a doubt had been temporary strike off yet i feel more doubt is turning out, it just seem to be a never ending story and it will not be 'happily ever after'..

god, i know i had been a crazy, disloyal, naughty, unfilial, stupid daughter, sister, friend and student, i still wish the worst will not happen.. yet the truth is, the more you want something not to happen, it will happen..

tis is not a post...

2010-06-20T21:55:00.002+08:00

just to save the link of piano sheet i wanna print.. ^^

http://wenwen.soso.com/z/q179219220.htm?rq=177513046&ri=2&uid=0&ch=w.xg.llyjj

http://www.gangqinpu.com/html/10153.htm

http://www.yqxs.com/data/book/8902/

sweet then bitter..

2010-06-08T12:22:00.003+08:00

sometimes i wonder why do i always choose to enjoy the few days and suffer for another six months..

i like sweet first then super bitter later..

ewwww~

kinda hate it now.. but always, after 5 months i will forget bout it and get panic on the 6th month.. lol..

my coming holiday..

2010-06-06T13:33:00.002+08:00

can you please be more humble and prudence?? why can you always be so optimistic?

i know is not you to be blame if i really sit at home do nothing in this coming holiday.. things are often hard to predict, but if it is, how can you just made it seem possible, achieveable? do you ever know peoples have their own plan too? because of your words, i felt that i lost a lot of things..

i guess im the one to be blame.. im the stupid one who take your words serious and be too efficient in respond to it.. im the one who are not prudence enough by listen and accept all your words..

cheers to myself for having a ________ holiday..

fill in the blank with any words you want it to be, you want me to be..

midnite trauma..

2010-06-01T04:21:00.002+08:00

incredible.. manage to get myself update more on blog than facebook..

its 421am now, not asleep yet and just saw a cockroach... if u know me well u will know that i got phobia of them.. i cant type the words anymore so u know what is it.. at first i thought just ignore it, stay on your bed and faster sleep.. let it loiter around then it will disappear by itself..

failed.. totally cannot tahan it walked around on the floor.. i have lots of imagination.. what if it climb up to my bed and crawl on my leg AGAIN (it just happen last month!!!).. NO WAY!!! unwillingly i called my mom and told her : "mi, got xxxx.." (this is the second time i called middle of the night just because of it)

mom answered me : "i know it, must be it.."

my mom tried to persuade me to ignore it or go my sis room zzz.. i cant.. i said :

"cannot, cannot, faster come, faster come, cannot.. "

haiz.. i really cannot.. i even be really silly by telling it : "go away go away", even i know it dont understand..

luckily mom willing to wake up, killed it and swept it out of my room.. thank god and mi.. now i can have a good night sleep.. pray pray my future husband does not has this phobia and able to protect me from it even is in the middle of the night..

my holiday

2010-05-31T16:14:00.003+08:00

forgo my holiday work under datin... im sooooooo sad bout it..

daddy, u better make sure lots lots lots of money will goes into my pocket for this holiday, or else i will put my anger towards u and no birthday present for u for this year..

tis june holiday going to b interesting.. will be a extraordinary month.. in perak...

selangor, klang, subang, damansara.... i will miss u all very much!!!

加油，小禄...

2010-05-31T00:53:00.003+08:00

thanks to facebook, i have been neglect this blog for a really long time.. hehe..

oh god, im so relieved.. it suppose to be 'sad' at the first place.. why??

because of xiao lu lo..

last 2 weeks i got to know that he had entered a singing competition, im so excited as im always the fan of him and feel that he should come out with a solo album and not with the group called 'Choco 7'.. i thought that by entering this competition, more people get the chance to listen to his voice, his skills and his talent..

unfortunately, just now i youtube his progress for this week and really sad to find out the judge doesnt feel as what i feel for him.. he is in the bottom 5 and this week they are going to kick 5 people out.. oh god, im panic and heart broke.. that's y i start this post, wanna to start with the word 'sad'..

im a impatient person, so quickly i straight jump to the ending, pray pray hope that there is more people get lower marks than him and thank god my wish come true.. he is not in the bottom up, manage to survive for next week.. and that's when the word 'relieved' came..

hopefully next week he will perform well and let others open their eyes and mouth big big enough..

加油，小禄。。。

May shopping list

2010-05-06T19:48:00.002+08:00

lots of things wana buy!!! out of sudden..

1. a digital watch
2. long pants or jeans
3. a starbucks tumbler to save RM2 everytime i visit them
4. a comfortable single sit sofa (tis is jus a dream)
5. heels!! reli reli long din buy one, thank to crocs..
6. 下一站,幸福 dvd
7. a reli beautiful shorty white dress

temporarily oni tis.. hopefully i can strike off all of them other than the sofa by the end of june..

the way to get closer to Him : Chastity

2010-05-06T12:16:00.005+08:00

extract THIS POST from Van Ness's blog.

March 11, 2008...I laid my head down and said to God...

"Lord...I'm ready to start my walk with you...

Father God...I've been doing things my way all my life. Even when you came and showed me Your love for me. Still....I went my own way. Did my own thing. Lord I tried to stay close to you, but couldn't. Temptations of the flesh, (the world) kept taking me farther and farther away from You. At the end of that tunnel, I realized I went after everything I wanted...and turned away from everything You wanted to give me...I got almost everything I wanted...but every time I got there, I wanted something else from the world....

Everyone in the world looked at me and thought I had everything. Some looked at me and thought I'm a complete A**hole. Some look at me and adored me. Some wanted to be me...but Lord...when I look in the mirror...I don't know who "me" is...

Am I that person I see on tv? The big screen? The music videos? Who am I? What am I? What is the point of all this!?!?

FATHER GOD!!! NO MORE~!!!! I QUIT THIS WORLD!!! I DON'T WANT IT ANYMORE! I WANT YOU!!! Your love is the only love that I have felt that is real...and all I had to do is say Lord...I want to know you more...please show me how....I want to be closer to you...please help me.....yes I said that before...yes I tried...but the devil's playground had too many rides that seemed more fun. But every ride I went on...there was a price......and the fee....my Soul.

Every ride, (sex, alcohol, money, pride, etc etc) no matter how fun that ride was while I was on it...in the end, when I get off...I ended up with either a massive headache, body pain, bloody knuckles, friends in hospitals, women crying, panic attack, depression...the list goes on and on...but the worst part of it all...half the time I don't even remember any of it. And I would try to make myself feel better by saying man did I have fun. I have the hangover to proove it. What did I do that was so fun? Hmm...I don't remember.....Yea...sounds like I had fun....

FLIP THIS! I'm done with this! I want You Lord, and YOU ONLY! I know it's not going to be easy...I know I can't do it all at once...I know everything is a process...but most importantly...timing is most important. YOUR TIMING IS MOST IMPORTANT. Teach me...teach me everyday...teach me through my prayers. As I pray to You Father to remove all my fears of what's going to happen to me, all my doubts of myself, all my worries of what people think...dismantle it and break it all off me! In Jesus Name! Teach me to Love as you do, to Serve as You do Jesus, humble me...humble me...humble me....make me whole again make me new. Make me as You so planned from the day you created the whole universe. Make me a better servant, a better student, a better soldier, a better warrior, a better vessel, but most importantly...a better LOVER for You!

FOR LOVERS WILL ALWAYS OUT WORK WORKERS.

Cover me with your blood, keep blessing me to be stronger, to fight off all the temptations of this world that is trying to make me stupid, numb my wits. Let me be a true SOLDIER OF LIGHT, Jesus your warrior, CHRIST'S BLOOD WARRIOR!!! Let me fight for You! MORE OF YOU LESS OF ME....ALL OF YOU, NONE OF ME, LORD..I am ready...I am ready today Lord...to start my walk with you. Amen."

Phew....I dunno where all that came from....hahaha...

Ok..ok......maybe I didn't say all this at once...but God knew even though it didn't come out of my mouth. My heart. My heart, was ready to take that first step with Him. I had no idea what was going to happen...how my life would be.I had never done this before. But I said...FLIP IT~! Give it a shot...I mean give it a real shot this time Van Ness....don't sell yourself short.....and that was when I made my chastity vow to God for one year.

Why chastity vow?

Well being in a boy band, living a rockstar life, females tend to be um.....everywhere......and that was one of the main thing that took me farther and farther away from God.

Well...my year is up now......and life just gets better and better...
"2008 Time to Dominate!"...and Dominate I did.

"2009 Time to Shine!"...can ya see me Blingin~

So...What's next?

a. Go find the first girl I see and then...

b. Go find the first 2 girls I see and then...

c. Continue my vow, and keep patiently walking with God and see where He leads me.

Can you guess my answer?

But I wonder...if that day comes, when I meet a girl, whom I love,and I walk hand in hand with in public.....would all my fans still support me? Or would it be as the company's, media, or reporters say?

Do I hide something that God has intended for us as human beings to have so freely?

I think I'll just be honest with myself, and let God do the rest.

The enemy of Best, is good...some things may seem good...but God only wants the BEST for US!

For the sake of Love, give everything...for no sacrifice is too great....all you need is Love.

"Don't let the world steal your feelings...Love, Faith, Live."

朋友一生一起走

2010-04-29T02:28:00.003+08:00

一直以来, 我相信有一生的朋友。

从中学到现在我依然会如此得想。

我们，鲍鱼家族，会吗？

不可能了。

从一毕业，我与他的开始，增加了我与你们的距离，慢慢的我们生疏了。

七个月后，我与他的结束，并没有改变任何事，距离还是存在着。

四年里，种种的事情发生了，大家开始组成自己的另一个圈圈，这是我非常不乐意见到的。

他和他的不合，他和他的误会，更是把大家的距离拉远了。

去年三月，她结婚了，非常高兴的，我看见了我们大家又聚在一起了。

上台唱了首‘朋友’... 大哭，哭得不是自我，因为从前的种种浮现在脑海里。

虽然我与你们并没有太多的深刻回忆，也没经历过生死难关（最恐怖也只是在jj车里吧), 但我还是非常地珍惜与大家的友谊。

朋友一生一起走那些日子不再有

一句话一辈子一生情一杯酒

朋友不曾孤单过一声朋友你会懂

还有伤还有痛还要走还有我

"朋友一生一起走", 我们大概已经走不下去了吧。

误会越来越多, 距离越来越远, 没人愿意让步, 那些日子不再有。

"朋友不曾孤单过, 一声朋友你会懂", 悲。

如今的我感觉孤单, 因为大家都不懂大家了。

我只想找个人陪我看 "叶问", 竟然的悲到想不到一个人。

朋友啊, 你们到哪儿去啦?

真地会如此的不堪到永远吗?

the first day of 22 years..

2010-04-11T22:08:00.003+08:00

last 2 years, i closed my old blog on this date..
last year, i had a new blog and posted my 21st birthday post..
this year, this blog still exist with seldom update.. haha..

here come my 22nd birthday post.

how do i spend my birthday?

at first i thought the 12am i should be in a bbq party, with link them.. unfortunately, leong's uncle passed away, party cancel and i had to look for a backup plan.. dont really want to stay at home because i can imagine how boring and depress that will be.. so i called howe howe, told him i'm free for them!!! let's hang out!!!

so here i am before 12am..

lung's house

i think this is the first time i celebrate my birthday with min ee, after 4 years..

dinner got crab, chicken, sotong and tofu, which is tapao from coconut flower, although already bored with those food, but still yummy.. after that we played cluedo, watched south park, and camwhore with the cake..

cake from RT Pastry, yummy!!!

(more photo visit facebook's album..)

the next day i spend my day with my family.. watched 'being human' and makan in 'xian ding wei'.. jie jie dislike xian ding wei.. haha.. 'being human' is quite funny but i had to say that jack neo really has a bad taste.. his mistress is sooo not pretty lo..

daddy dint get to come back celebrate with me cause he is busy, but he promise will come back tomorrow evening.. although i'm disappointed but at least he did make the effort to come back tomorrow.. no family photo, =(..

okay, new year new birthday wish..

1. faster finish study.. (although i always tell people i will study till i get old, but im super bored with college life.. a little bit busy and miserable is quite an excitement in life!!!)

2. wish all my friends and family happy happy.. those single faster get their partner, where is my white prince?

3. this is a secret..

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!!!

20/2/2010 Sat

2010-02-21T01:11:00.002+08:00

sad and scare... study

holiday is over, is time to get back to the real world..
college, lecturer, exam is waiting for me.. i'm scare, i feel like crying right now..
result is out on monday, will the paper get through? i did my best last semester for it, if it fail, im sure will cry and depress..
anything i can do to change current situation? the only solution is....... i know that ] but i cant even say it out, because it will give me a feeling of big stone drop on me and a pinch at heart..

relieve and sad... friend

get to know something that made me really relieve.. the decision that i had made and regretted, now is the best decision i ever made.. but if that point of time i dint made that decision and accept it, something like may not happen and totally change current situation.. haiz, 'if' is something only loser will hope for, i better dont waste so much time on it.. im just feeling sad right now for someone who is so joyful and happy turn to be, not to say jerk but i will feel complicated and 'unhealthy' for him..

time, can u stop ticking? i dowan to go class........

emo emo post

2010-02-05T22:07:00.002+08:00

sick make me emo.. super emo.. it makes me feel guilty to skip class.. sick shouldnt be a reason to absent..

im so scared.. usually im a self-centered person, dont really care about what people think about me or not to compare myself with others.. but lately the feeling of inferior started to hit me.. most of my friends are working adults now and yet im still a college student who get stuck in acca.. listen to them that they are really busy making me jealous, i miss my worked life also.. this is so irritating, to make it worse, i got no study mood nor study smart technique. always thinking of my poor english, i feel wanna knock my head to the wall..

this semester i obviously have low confidence in me, a coward who cannot handle stress and struggling myself to accept the truth and keep my brain shut from thinking impossible dream and start to study..

to gain back my confidence, few things i have to do..
-study smart smart n hard hard
-graduate fast fast
-look for a leng leng cai cai bf (haha)
-be more filial and patient with parents

honestly, none of it i can achieve.. =(

fever lo...

2010-02-03T00:05:00.002+08:00

how good if there is someone to carry me from living room to bed room, hug me and sings me to sleep while im weak.. add-on one good night kiss.. haha..

argh.. fever d, when is the last time i got fever? lost track d lo.. im feeling dizzy and eyes burning right now.. and im worry that tomorrow my eyes will become mashimaro.. how??

good night.. tomorrow got 8am class, before 7am have to leave house, hopefully im able to do that..

movie season..

2010-01-30T11:10:00.002+08:00

it's movie season for me again..

tonnes of movie is awaiting for me to watch them..

woo hoo
all well end well
72 tenants
tooth fairy
the spy next door

ok, maybe not that 'tonnes'..

but why is it so hard to get 4 movie ticket nowadays? wanted to watch woo hoo so woke up this early just to buy the night ticket yet its full (seriously bloody full, no matter is front, back or couple, 720, 945 or 1155).. so sien..

avatar is also full.. =.=" after so long..

anyone want to watch any of the above movie with me? call me.. ^^

空虚落寞感。

2010-01-24T22:50:00.003+08:00

在这深夜里，空虚来袭了。

因为我说了违背自己内心的话，欺骗了自己，也欺骗了他。

目的是为了说服我自己：这就是我心里所想的，我所要得。

但那感觉好痛哦。

说不出心里所想的，得不到心里所渴望的。

===========================================

最近很常有种感觉，每当一件很令我开心的事情发生后，落寞感就会紧追在后的跟随我。

不舍，它就这样过去了，好希望时间会停留在那一刻。

我明白，往另一方面想，未来会有更多更多的愉快事情会发生，

但内心的落寞的确令我感到难以消化。

i have a dream

2010-01-18T22:51:00.002+08:00

Westlife - I have a Dream

I have a dream, a song to sing
To help me cope with anything
If you see the wonder of a fairy tale
You can take the future even if you fail
I believe in angels
Something good in everything I see
I believe in angels
When I know the time is right for me
I'll cross the stream - I have a dream

I have a dream, a fantasy
To help me through reality
And my destination makes it worth the while
Pushing through the darkness still another mile
I believe in angels
Something good in everything I see
I believe in angels
When I know the time is right for me
I'll cross the stream - I have a dream

i have a dream.. i think i had talked about this dream with friends and not sure whether i blog about it before or not.. tried to look back all the previous post title and failed to figure out which title it will be under, maybe i haven wrote about it.. hehe..

my dream is be a boss, a boss to a dessert shop.. got this idea when i started to work and got the recipe for honey dew sago.. i love to cook and bake, just hate to wash.. although i love to cook but i seldom step into the kitchen, the most is only maggi or fried egg, once in a blue moon fried rice.. the dream had been out of the mind for sometime cause i cant even handle my own study now, how can i dream of a shop, moreover i dont have any recipe.. really one honey dew sago and one banana pan cake 走江湖?

last sunday my sis bf was talking about open a bakery cause his mom started to bake bread (just for fun, not serious about it), then i said we can do dessert in the bakery also ler.. here start of the dream again.. as my sis is considering to quit her job everything and also been dreaming to become boss also (different as mine, she want to do either bubble tea or pan mee), she asked my mom to buy recipe book and create her own recipe.. seem like she do has the interest to realise my dream.. haha..

i think this is my family gene to dream to be boss, cause my dad hate to work under people, my grandpa also is a boss himself.. the book family like to be boss, risk taker... hahaha.. so this is my dream, to open a bakery + dessert shop, be a boss.. but no matter what the dream is, study and graduate is my responsibility for now, STOP DREAMING..

p/s : i still dream about the shop and finding a sweet name for it.. hehe..

lately

2010-01-18T01:37:00.006+08:00

i got nothing to post but i feel like blogging.. haha.. life seems to be quite boring lately, other than class nothing special is going on..

classes and lecturers are stressful as usual but it become double stress when i had p2 class and joyce's class for f9.. she expect student to know everything for whatever she taught, one mistake will end up with a super long loud morale study, so stressss.. i know i may choose to ignore the scolding part or to take that as a song or whatever, but i just hate people to scold, its annoying and kill my confidence and happiness.. got that serious meh?? YES!!!! is that serious for my mental condition right now, i'm mentally weak, i cry easily now..

lately im addicted to jogging or marathon.. one of the proposed way for me to de-stress myself, nothing practical has been done yet for this de-stress plan because something came up on my jogging day last week (a phone call), so not sure whether it will work or anot.. i'm looking forward for my jog on this wednesday and thursday, hopefully this will help me to get a good night sleep.. or to say i dont want oni "a" good night sleep, i want it to be FOREVER..

oh ya, im very 'heaty' also.. left ears is damn pain whenever i try to swallow, even if is my own saliva or air.. YES, throat is connected to the ear.. hopefully it will recover soon too, im mentally too weak to get sick or to take pain.. haha..

another thing that is bothering me is.... my aunty refused to visit me.. faster come la, stomach getting bigger, pimples getting popper, acne getting fatter..

oh ya, im a teacher again, YEY but my cutie student is not there anymore, he changed to other class and i will not have a chance to see him anymore and im really depress about that, i miss him.. =(

that's all for my boring week..

hopefully sooner or later something exciting will happen in my life such as :
- ktv
- bukit broga hike
- trip to kuantan and beach
- good stamina to join marathon
- good result for pt (have to study hard hard to achieve)

p/s : cut my hair short last tuesday.. not to say really nice but i love it short.. ^^

is time to calm down..

2010-01-14T19:39:00.002+08:00

things happen, decision made, nothing else can be done in order to change the situation.. the only thing that i can do is to accept the reality and deal with it.. no matter i like it or not, the world will not follow my steps to stay at current situation.. perhaps, times continue tic talking, earth continue turning, sun continue burning, human being continue growing, nothing will stop to wait for me, is me who need to follow their footstep and run with it..

do not let the pinch break me down anymore..
do not let the truth demotivate me anymore..
do not let the future probable event haunt me anymore..

is time for me to calm down and do the right thing at the right time.. do not ever live in the wrong timing..

p/s: im so weak, i even wish to type a 'hopefully' in front of every sentence and not giving a firm statement.. such a loser.. this is such a emo blog, nothing is happy in it.. =(

stupid stupid yen..

2010-01-13T22:34:00.002+08:00

god, im so stupid and blind..

why??

daddy wrote me a cheque to pay fees.. asked me what date to write and i told him this friday cheque (15.01.2010)..

unfortunately today admin checked fees again and i of course cannot enter the class and so had to play hide and seek with them.. end up still have to surrender myself in order to enter the class early.. stupid admin staff is so 'licik' and never give up.. GRRRRRRRRRR..

just now took out the cheque and check the date.. is today cheque.. =.=

so stupid for me to play hide and seek as i can walk in the class beautifully and cool.. arghhhh...

如果...因为...你...

2010-01-11T11:59:00.004+08:00

如果...

如果我有钱,
如果我很美,
如果我很高,
如果我爱他，
如果他爱我,
如果当时我努力点,
如果时间可以倒流,
如果那件事没发生...

如果有的选, 我只要你健健康康, 黑黑胖胖...

因为...

我可以努力的让自己变有钱,
我可以化妆掩饰我的不完美,
我可以穿高跟鞋就算脚会痛,
我可以逃避或尝试去爱上他，
我可以努力的忘记他不爱我,
我可以自控的不被诱惑而努力点,
我可以调整自己跟随时间的脚步,
我可以接受事情的发生且面对它...

唯有你的事,

让我感到无力,
让我不知所措,
让我无时无刻掉下泪,
让我觉得你随时随地会离开我...

可是, "如果"是不可能发生, 我也不期待它了...
我只能乞求, 乞求上天听见, 保佑不在我能力范围里的他...

this is how i feel right now!!!!!

2010-01-05T00:05:00.003+08:00

class starting soon yet i dont know which class to join yet.. so miserable..

1st post for the new year..

HAPPY NEW YEAR

1 day 15 hours more left..

2009-12-07T00:09:00.001+08:00

1 day 15 hours more left..

and i'm not well prepare yet.. =(

最高的浪漫

2009-11-29T02:00:00.001+08:00

最高的浪漫（季可蔷）

　　很难想象，一个人结婚之后，就一辈子对另一半忠诚，再也不会对其他人心动。

　　至少我自认为做不到。

　　别误会，我是很歌颂爱情的，也相信爱情可以另一个人的人生更完满，我渴望被爱，也愿意竭尽所能地爱人。

　　但只因为许下了婚姻的誓言，就真能保证一颗心永不动摇吗？

　　我觉得不太可能。

　　如果一个人在婚姻里从不曾怀疑过，不曾感到一丝丝挫折，那人不是伟人，是圣人。

　　即使没有第三者出现，婚姻还是有太多可能起波澜，理想与爱情能兼顾吗？自由与责任该怎么平衡？浪漫与现实总是会冲突，还有，日复一日地跟同一个人厮守相对，难道不会有偶尔感到厌倦的时候？

　　到那时候，一对夫妻该如何才能长相守？

　　在我心目中，理想的婚姻并不是永远和平，不是两个人永远甜蜜蜜，像磁铁般地黏在一起，而是就算争吵，就算冷战，就算生活里有许多小细节难以磨合，两个人依旧愿意站在对方的立场着想，为彼此各退一步。

　　就算意外对别人心动了，心里想的，还是那个在家里等待自己的另一半。

　　就算激情褪淡了，也仍愿意将对方的手紧紧牵着，在彼此最需要的时候，相互扶持。这种细水长流的情感，才是真爱。

　　恋爱或许是一时的冲动，激情是荷尔蒙作祟，但如果有个人，能让你放心的依赖，不论什么时候，什么情况，他都不会丢下你，这样的深情，怎么可能不是爱？

　　有人说，夫妻当久了，失去心动的感觉，那就不是爱情，而是亲情。

　　可我却认为如果亲情是一种不离不弃，那么比起爱情，我更希望得到“亲情”—使得，那其中可能带着责任的成分，但一个人愿意对另一个人负责任，那需要多大的决心和勇气！

　　那绝对不是冲动，也不干荷尔蒙的事，而是刻苦铭心的许诺。

　　那是与对方结缘，结一世的缘。

你认同吗?

太帅啦啦啦啦啦啦。。

2009-11-26T03:24:00.002+08:00

again is my xiao lu..

小禄 - Gone + Sexyback (Justine Timberlake)

太帅啦................

haiz..

2009-11-20T02:59:00.006+08:00

this is so sinful..

exam is in around 2 weeks time and i'm so mati in addicting to a game.. neither the farmville nor restaurant city but is SIMS 3..

thanks to my bro for bringing in the game at the wrong time.. ARGH... im so disappointed with myself..

haiz...

craving for food...

2009-10-21T04:16:00.002+08:00

its middle of the night.. i'm craving for food although i'm not hungry..

chestnut (wan yong was right, chestnut = 栗子）
pig intestine in klang town
duck *quek quek*
snowflake : cincau ice set E with taroballs..
curry mee, prawn mee (been craving for it for long time but due to my skin i cant take it)
lavender : yam cake
japanese food : sushi king, zanmai, kinsahi, sakae sushi... anything..
euro deli pasta.. or any pasta to say
courtyard garden : black olive crustacean
satay
behind hong leong bank mamak nasi lemak
la la jian in chi liung
loh mee beside hin hua
mommy's soup and longan desert

the list will go on non-stop... FOOD... =(
i must strike the list one by one.. FOOD...

lung said last saturday was the first time i join them for normal outing.. not after or before class outing.. i got so anti-social meh? haha.. i'm just kinda lazy to drive for entertainment sometimes, wana save petrol and the environment too.. hehe.. bout last sat, its only foosball then pool in AC, durian buffet in ss2, foosball and pool again in rack.. =.=

19.10.2009 Mon 3.52am Dark

2009-10-19T03:52:00.003+08:00

I'M STILL AWAKE...

lately i had been really afraid to sleep early because i'm afraid of time.. if i sleep early means the moment i wake up it will be the next day, another day has gone, yesterday had pass.. but eventually if i sleep late i wake up late also, around 12 hours of sleeping time.. quite a waste of time i know.. hehe.. but im just afraid, i will find all kind of youtube to watch just to prevent myself from sleep, i dont want the day just pass like this because i have not done anything meaningful yet on the day, i dint satisfy with the day yet i never make the effort to let something meaningful happen.. =.=

this is me, this is how i run from reality..

everytime when i got any bad memory or embarrassed moment flash back, i will just shake my head and told myself : "seow yen, it's over and not important anymore, just forget about it."

very coward ler..

that's me..

another song to share..

陶喆 - 寂寞的季節

风吹落最后一片叶我的心也飘着雪
爱只能往回忆里堆叠 oh~给下个季节
忽然间树梢冒花蕊我怎么会都没有感觉
oh~整条街都是恋爱的人我独自走在暖风的夜
多想要向过去告别当季节不停更迭 oh~
却还是少一点坚决在这寂寞的季节
艳阳高照在那海边爱情盛开的世界
远远看著热闹一切 oh~我记得那狂烈
窗外是快枯黄的叶感伤在心中有一些 oh~
我了解那些爱过的人心是如何慢慢在凋谢
多想要向过去告别当季节不停更迭 oh~
却永远少一点坚决在这寂寞的季节
又走过风吹的冷冽最后一盏灯熄灭
从回忆我慢慢穿越在这寂寞的季节
还是寂寞的季节一样寂寞的季节

it's my season of loneliness and i'm coping with it very well now..

13/10/2009 二 3.06 pm 晴

2009-10-13T15:05:00.003+08:00

看完了还珠格格，好怀念啊....
但让我更怀念的是一首歌：当

让我们红尘作伴活得潇潇洒洒
策马奔腾共享人世繁华
对酒当歌唱出心中喜悦
轰轰烈烈把握青春年华

多美的歌词啊，记得当时皇上听了也很震撼，对我也不例外。
我要活得潇潇洒洒，共享人世繁华，把握青春年华。

加油。。

再加一个好消息，棒棒堂回来了。
好high哦，又可以看到小禄发出的光芒了。

好帅吧。谁说小禄不帅的，我觉得认真的男人最帅。嘻嘻。

car insurance

2009-10-12T01:25:00.002+08:00

AFA is back.. now he is handle with care by me, tears in eyes when i see it park outside my house.. finally i get back my freedom ^^..

here is something that i feel everyone must pay extra attention to.. is about car insurance.. it's not as straight forward or naive as we thought (bang then claim and done). there are lots of tricky condition that the evil insurance company had in order to minimize their loss.. im one of the victim which is also why now im so appreciate AFA..

my car insurance company is Pacific Insurance.. i not sure whether this applicable to every company or not but just a precautions lah..

i copy this completely from a Endorsements..

Endorsement 2(f) - Compulsory Excess

In the event of any claim arising under Section A of this policy, You are responsible in respect of each and every event for an excess of RM400.00 in addition to the Excess stated in the Schedule if Your Vehicle is being driven by the following persons authorised by You :-

(the english word not that bombastic but i found it hard to understand..lol..)

(a) Any person under the Age of 21 years.
(b) Any person who is holder of Provisional (L) driving licence.
(c) Any person who is holder of a Full driving licence of less than 2 years.
(d) Any person not named in the Schedule.
(e) Any person named in the Schedule who is less than the age of 21 years old and/or holder of a provisional (L) driving licence and/or the holder of a full driving licence of less than 2 years.

For the purpose of this endorsement the expression 'event' shall mean an event or series arising out of one cause in connection with the motor vehicle.

all my dear friend, please pay more attention to (c) and (d), ok..

unfortunately i fall within (d), not named in it.. long story about it because i thought my name in it.. please check your car insurance policy whether your name is under the authorised driver or not, if not, please call your insurance company and add it in..

so depress when i talk about this insurance thing.. haiz..

12/10/2009 12.25am hot night

2009-10-12T00:25:00.003+08:00

i just made a decision plus action that make me feel better.. been thinking about it whole night, even purposely wake up to spin coin to help me make decision.. typical yen's way of make decision.. hehe.. but in the end the decision that i made plus action was totally opposite side of the result of the coin.. i don't know whether is the hint of the god or what, i spin it for 5 times, all the 5 times told me to take the harder choice.. i even change the coin, spin on floor to table yet still get the same answer.. erm, weird har..

so what decision that i had made?

i decided not to be super'girl' anymore for exam by taking 3 papers.. i chose to be more relax, drop one paper that i had attended for class for 1 semester then fail then later on chose to self study and end up fail also.. both fail with similar marks.. haha..

although i feel relieve about the decision but im worry bout the hint of god.. shall i?

11/10/2009 1.18am 晴

2009-10-11T01:18:00.003+08:00

今天莫名袭来的一阵失落感，那感觉令我非常害怕，不喜欢。我想应该是应为考试又要来临了吧，所以心里的恐惧被激发出来了。

我感失落，最近发生了很多事，那都不是我心灵或身体可以完全负荷得了的，但现实往往都是残酷的，不是你说不要或累就不会发生的，厄运就像厉鬼那样不断的追逐着我的脚步，让生活过得像不够氧气般的喘不过气。可我也是个缩头乌龟，我拒绝去想，放任自己沉溺在自己的世界里，与寂寞作伴，有电脑与电视就够了。不幸的是世界不会因我的脚步放慢而停下来等我，时间不停的自我的发出 tic talk tic talk 的声音，连它都知道，每一秒都具代表性。

不写了，灵感走了，但我知道，它不会就在此停足。
我的故事不能忘，我的失落不能放。

to be continue.. 待续。。。

a song to share..

2009-09-26T02:01:00.003+08:00

lately i really like to share songs or video.. no choice, life had been too boring.. nothing interesting happen.. hehe..

陶子 - 女人心事

东区的咖啡座　幽暗的沙发里
总有几张　熟悉的脸
那种聪明　带点防卫的气质
想放弃　却又不甘心的样子

越过她的肩膀　空洞洞的视线
摩登女子　灰色心事
那种以为　自己什么都可以
喝了酒　却又哭得像个孩子

我听见(爱我的人在哪边)渴望的泪
我看见(伤心的故事一遍遍)我的从前

曾经　我也痛过我也恨过怨过放弃过
在自己的房间里　觉得幸福遗弃我
如果　没有分离背叛的丑陋
怎么算是真爱过

请你　试着相信一爱再爱不要低下头
别怕青春消逝　就不信单纯的美梦
我在这岸看着你游
为你的坚持感动
你会的　有一天　会幸福的

is a really touching song that talks about anyone surely had some hurtful memory in their love life but no worry, if there is no all this memory how will we know that we really loved before? that's a prove of love.. but dont ever give up on love based of past because one day you surely will find your love one and live like fairy tale, happily ever after.

love ya..

first day : fail..

2009-09-13T23:55:00.002+08:00

yesterday just told myself to handle thing calmly, take things seriously and control my emotion..
today is the first day and i fail myself kau kau.. just scream loudly in front of my mom although i felt that that's not my fault but i just let my anger out instead of listen to her nag patiently..

FAIL..

学着...

2009-09-13T01:30:00.002+08:00

我要学着平复自己的情绪，冷静心灵，不要有太大的情绪波动，更正面的面对未来的挑战。
这一个星期所发生的事，没人可以体会，没人能与我分享分担，让我更明了我是多么的需要坚强面对未来。会有更多类似或更糟的事会发生，我可有能力再次看到同样的事情发生？
他一定需要我的坚强吧。。。

我要冷静自己，时时刻刻保持平静，不易动怒，不易动粗，不易让情绪漂浮，自我控制。

accident

2009-09-12T14:36:00.001+08:00

just met an accident and i'm really depressed now because it's my wrong..

blame on me..

emmanuel 我俩因主的爱相结合

2009-08-28T23:04:00.003+08:00

was watching 鲁豫有约- 蔡少芬张晋：幸福小世界

is about their love story and their wedding.. i'm touched by a song sang by the groom when the brides walking into the church..

tis is so sweet and meaningful..

immediately i googled for the song and found the title...

=Chinese : 有你終身美麗 ; English : Emmanuel=

是你的恩典终身美丽皆因你
沿路你带领双双足印翩翩舞
这生有你照亮因你爱动听
在你爱内承诺至终

Emmanuel我俩终生相爱不退后
Emmanuel我相信地老天荒
Emmanuel 纵物换星移我心不舍不弃
此生坚信完全因心中戒指

Emmanuel我俩因主的爱相结合
Emmanuel主的爱共证永不朽
Emmanuel似盛放沙仑眼中闪出璀璨
我愿意献奉这生无尽爱

hopefully one day i will meet someone and let me have the chance to give up all my love to him..

=)

blah lah....

2009-08-18T04:11:00.003+08:00

oh god,

i dreamt that he come back to me..

this is ridiculous...

a date in dream make me so confuse..

in dilemma..

2009-08-15T02:41:00.004+08:00

its 2.44am now.. later 2pm i got P3 class.. having a thought of ponteng the class because the class is in Kasturi from 2 to 9pm.. will it be dangerous for a girl to travel alone by LRT at night? thinking of it might be a bit scary but the idea of ponteng frighten me more than that..

is all about money, do i really afford to miss the class just for that stupid reason?

a) Yes, affordable if something will happen to me that night..
b) No, is really stupid to waste the fees of 6 hours class if nothing happen..

so how?

more excuse to support me to skip the class is i do have plan for the whole day.. will be visiting link in the afternoon and join koon's farewell party at night.. sooo in dilemma right now.. to get out from the dilemma, i used coin to decide for me and three times it told me not to go for the class.. is it a hint from god? i dont know.. when i really decided to skip the class, the little angel in me screaming to me : "6 hours class... really want to skip it? is daddy hard earn money ler.. really want to be pai ka lui?" grrrrrrrrrr...

haiz... i really dont know what to do.. i dont want to disappoint daddy yet i worrying of the hint of god.. GOD!!!! HOW!!!!!!

i always advise someone not to skip class for stupid reason purely for friends.. but when thing happen on me, i also have the thought to skip it.. lol.. took in the consideration of late night travel risk also la..

still dont know how.. =(

What's your personality love style?

2009-08-10T03:53:00.003+08:00

i did this quiz and here is the result..

What's your personality love style?

You desire a love that will last forever. You are quite serious about finding this type of love, and that's why you think carefully about the men that you meet before deciding whether you could really love them. You don't just develop a crush on someone overnight: you look at a person's personality and other aspects of their life before deciding to form an attachment. If a guy doesn't meet your expectations, you would rather be alone. Your love has to be perfect. Be careful though, you could be missing out on some worthy relationships because your standards are so high.

i think its quite accurate for me and friends may agree with the last sentence.. hehe..

3 short post..

2009-08-10T00:22:00.005+08:00

ws said that i cant just forgive people so easily, people who did something wrong yet i will always defend for him.. not to say that i don't hate nor angry with him, is to say i don't want to use those negative feeling to influence my own happiness.. i had chosen to use a smile to forget his hurtful decision or act.. yet, the person's decision or act has to be under my limit, something that is forgivable, logic, or defend-able for me to convince myself that 'it's ok'..

the more hurtful it is, the more forgettable for me..

_________________

a baby girl was born on 08.08.09 10.++ am..

i guess she will be the cute little princess among friends, everyone will love her to the max..

welcome to the world!!! little princess..

__________________

bought a new sunglass..

sui bo??

p/s ::

do you realise?
1) my hair is quite long now but its not the length that i desperate..
2) i got more almost 3 months dint post my pic to this blog.. hehe..

down..

2009-08-07T22:23:00.003+08:00

last thursday was my last day of work and also was the most depressed day : the day the BBT end..

i'm so sad, unwilling to let them go, not used to the life without watching them every weekday, not used to not to stay awake at the midnight just to wait for someone post the show, i miss them.. i guess alot of people especially my sis is clapping hand happily for the end of the show because i will not wasting my time on it anymore and spend more time to study but i feel something important in me is losing, the key thing that makes me laugh and now bringing me to the loneliness of life.. YES!!! that's how important BBT to me..

一日棒棒堂，終生棒棒堂

BBT spirit never gone and end..

anyway, the end of BBT also mean the beginning of something..

ALLY MCBEAL..

a series that i used to watched during primary school, i can still remember the time, every monday 11pm.. is a really nice series, is about a lady lawyer named ally who working in the same firm with her first and also ex bf which also the most love of life man.. unfortunately, his wife is there too.. then imagine how depress and stress is ally is to work in the firm and desperating for love..

is some way i feel that ally character is reflecting me.. there is one episode where ally had to defend for a client that being sued for fraud.. the case is about a husband sue a wife for married him not for love but money and desperation to marry because she is over 30.. the fraud is on their wedding day(3 years ago), in the bride's vow had a sentence that sound similar like this "you are the the man that i love the most in my life".. in fact, the woman had a fantasy for a perfect man and been writing to him in a book for 11 years, before she met her husband.. in the book she describe the day of wedding had been the most lonely day in her life.. eventually the hubby found the book and felt that the wife is cheating him for calling him the most love in life.. ally too, had fantasy of her dream man for a long time and due to the case she is emotionally down because everyone around telling her that there is no perfect man for someone, what you can have is only the one that close to perfect..

this make me depress.. i too had a fantasy, i always dream of that someday i will met someone who are perfectly created by god for me, my adam.. of course i am choosy also as i got a lot of requirement to be my hubby.. the episode broke ally's fantasy and also turn my dream into cruel truth.. is it really impossible for me to find someone that i had been dream of? guess i am fated to be lonelyen har.. hehe..

this is a so 'down' post..

orang jual ikan..

2009-07-13T23:42:00.002+08:00

argh.. damn geram now, get to know three fishmonger.. selfish people and unfortunately 3 of them are my sister housemate..

here is the story..

a little strong (xiao qiang, coakroach) flew into the room.. my first reaction were ran to the toilet and let my sister do the rest.. of course i did help by screaming around and observed where did the little creature running to.. for me, if my housemate is screaming, curiousity will definitely come in and make the effort to ask what happen.. but the stupid cold blood fellows even lock the door and off the light to meet the dream god.. my heart broken.. =(

damn, i'm really angry now.. how can they do this?? just lock the door and pretend hear nothing?? i really wanna to cry out loud now.. there are really selfish people in this world, even a small favour also they are unwilling to help.. arghhhhhhhhhhh... i hate selfish people, i hate coakroach, i miss my klang houseeeeeee...

today also a unlucky day of mine.. firstly is i lost my double eye lid sticker so i had to go to work with a cat eyes..

later coakroach incident..

then i wanna bath, the water was brown yellow in colour.. i feel really ithcy now, hair and body..

lastly i had to use bottled water to wash my face and take out the contact lense..

bad day..

memory out of space..

2009-07-12T00:25:00.008+08:00

my c drive is almost full d so i had to throw all those unnecessary things out of the space.. so when i looking through my desktop, there are few pictures that i wanna to post for quite some times abandone there makan i punya c..

tattoo..

taken this last few months.. we were in starbucks 1u study and this fellow when there zzz.. so i decided to kacau him by draw him a tattoo on leg..

cantik tak?? and this fellow still zzz sweetly.. he dint even move his leg while i draw..

as he tidur nyenyak. i decided to make it more colourful, blue love is lonely..

now got red and black love accompany blue, happy family..

banana pancakes..

my yummy banana pancakes.. this time i made it successfully, looks good right??
wei siong said yummy too, ^^..

yes, i can delete the picture d..

impossible dream...

2009-06-27T23:57:00.002+08:00

i had a dream last night.. it made me refuse to wake up this afternoon.. the dream is about........

i pass a impossible to pass paper... =(

impossible..

2009-06-08T19:35:00.002+08:00

just a short emo one..

miserable now.. i know is myself to be blame and guilty is all over me now.. losing the peace.. every call that i made now is exposing my weaknesses.. i never do this before and i wonder why i started it now.. something need to be done to get my strength back and is all depend on me..

i need a psychiatrist...

超克7 - 等什么

2009-06-06T23:17:00.004+08:00

小禄 is damn handsome in this... i'm so excited when i watch this.. ^^
who will dislike him with this kind of talent.. I'm IN LOVEEEEEEE...

超克7 - 等什么 (MTV)

超克7 - 等什么 (BBT)

support support.........
i want to shake shake and move move like this.. yayayaya...
a bit tempted wana buy the album..

04.04.09

2009-06-05T23:05:00.002+08:00

so lucky to have xuan and alex to sit beside me during exam.. ^^

noisy library..

2009-05-27T15:37:00.003+08:00

isnt library is a really queit place to study? why i keep on heard people mumbling non stop? the effort to try to keep their volume low is not appreciate by me.. cause it was so annoying.... they should know that library is a silent world with only turning page, walking, sneeze, moving chair sound.. why is all this irritating human being doing here? walk around and talk to friend, discuss with friend.. what the hellllll?

lately i have been complained alot.. haha.. i stall stop complaining and continue my study.. slow progress today.. thanks to all those stupid human being.. =P

p/s : omg, library is so different now.. i mean the design not the user.. user i same as annoying as last time.. more than half year didnt step in here d.. hehe.

so sick..

2009-05-25T00:18:00.002+08:00

i'm sick.. very very sick.. physically and mentally..

i look like mashimaro now with running nose and upset stomach.. this is making me weak.. tears keep on rolling down for nothing.. few sleepless night add-on mommy's black bean, everything burst out.. suei suei tomorrow i have my last revision class of f7.. how to meet people with this look?

mentally exhaust.. exam soon.. it is normal to have the study stress, i still manage to handle after so many semester of experience.. but now is not only stress for study........

relationship problem also bothering me 'kau kau'.. thought of hundreds way to let myself walk closer to you but never turn it into action.. i'm such a coward, cant manage to handle the feeling of afraid being hurt.. what can i do only will let you feel the care and love?

i felt that i had not truly laugh from my heart for ages.. i miss the happy-go-lucky me.. give me some times or extra hours.. i need some real rest, after exam..

hungry... (update)

2009-05-23T20:56:00.003+08:00

850pm right now.. one whole day i only had a pork noodle, egg sandwich, a cup of milk, and a sausage... NOW I'M GOD DAMN HUNGRY...

waiting for the pizza delivery, online order... will the pizza come? why there is no phone call confirmation? almost 15 minutes pass away.. HOW?? IS MY PIZZA ON THE WAY??

hungry..

update..

yes, pizza was here.. now all in my stomach.. yummy.. ^^

got one happy news.. finally i cleared all my debts.. the best is still got few dollars to keep.. happy..

damn sunwaytes.. (update)

2009-05-21T23:33:00.003+08:00

i miss my f7 edc today because i thought the class start tomorrow.. =.="

shit sunwaytes, i really hate them.. keep on change the timetable for nothing.. they thought the student so free everyday visit website to check the timetable? why are they so inconsiderate?

arghhhh.. i really hate sunway.. they made study difficult... =(

(update)

just got a message from my f7 classmate..

she said the timetable changed from 615pm to 915 class to 8am-5pm class.. they dont even bother to inform the student.. damn shit right.. keep on changing timetable without inform the student.. f9 like that, now f7 also the same..

irritating sunway..

through the eyes of Yen

'Happy' Chinese New Year

New Year Tradition

亲爱的你,

dear ah gong - day 24

working life..

dear ah gong - day 6

dear ah gong - day 5

this is what i feel now..

please be okay..

What are you worrying about?

怎么办.....

Getting ready for Phuket!!!

OMG, i really love this.

就是想念着...

Thai thai..

last year, august 13th, i post this on facebook..

tonight, i missing u, again.....

silent..

我最亲爱的, 你过得怎么样?

this is how i miss u..

first interview

亲爱的, 哭过就好了...

情绪低落....

first time experience...

牙套妹...

really very suei!!!

梦见了，梦见了，又梦见你了。。。

it's not a "happy" birthday..

teeth extraction..

hi april 2011

be the hurt one or be the hurt people one?

its just a dream

fall for the wrong one..

犯贱的自己...

快乐是选择...

motivation..

tis is not a post.. jus a link for me to save..

just a emo post when u are back..

someone selfish...

kena tegur..

燕所领悟 1

mou ren again..

happy week..

part 2 completed!!!!

某人 (updated)

sick in the wrong timing...

我的心扑通扑通的狂跳。

崩溃了..

security

tis is not a post...

sweet then bitter..

my coming holiday..

midnite trauma..

my holiday

加油， 小禄...

May shopping list

the way to get closer to Him : Chastity

朋友 一生一起走

the first day of 22 years..

20/2/2010 Sat

emo emo post

fever lo...

movie season..

空虚落寞感。

i have a dream

lately

is time to calm down..

stupid stupid yen..

如果...因为...你...

this is how i feel right now!!!!!

1 day 15 hours more left..

最高的浪漫

太帅啦啦啦啦啦啦。。

haiz..

craving for food...

19.10.2009 Mon 3.52am Dark

13/10/2009 二 3.06 pm 晴

car insurance

12/10/2009 12.25am hot night

加油，小禄...

朋友一生一起走